No where to go but here

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2004
No where to go but here
3
Sat, 06-02-2007 - 8:00pm

I'm trying so hard not to be lonely but I have no one to talk to. I'm a single mom and after 4 years of dating, we mutually decided we weren't moving towards living together or marriage or anything and broken up. I had been thinking about it for the last few months,(and apparently so had he) so it wasn't a surprise BUT......he was my best friend. For the last 4 years we talked on the phone 3-4 times every day and saw each other 3-4 times a week. He was my one and only friend and with no family near me, I am so so so lonely. He grew up here and has lots of family and friends to turn to. I have no where.... I could use any support out there.

Thanks,
Michele

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2007
Sun, 06-03-2007 - 12:39am

Me, too. No family here, single mom, broke up with lifelong friend and
first love almost a month ago. I was working too much and trying to be
mom and he kept telling me he was lonely and something had to change.
It sure did, when I came over to surprise him and he came home with
another woman. Kissed her right in front of me. My son has gone
to spend time with his father and this is the first time I've been
alone since the breakup. Business has kept us in contact for the
last month, so I've been telling myself if I made it through today
I would begin the NC for 30 days. Let the grieving begin!

I'm here. We can cry together.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2004
Sun, 06-03-2007 - 1:58am

Thank you for a reply....but sorry your going through it also. This is only the first week for me, and right now I feel like one of my arms or something is missing.

It's odd, I went through a divorce after 10+ years of marriage but we weren't friends. I missed the "family" and being married, etc. but I really didn't miss him. We had already grew so far apart, you know. But this is completely different, I really miss him, my "friend" and his involvement in my life. I mean we talked first thing in the morning and last thing before bed, and usually twice in between. And we spent every other night together. Our kids are the same age and have grown up together. And now what???

When it overhelming or late at night like this, I feel undecisive ....go back or wait it out. I told him if we break-up again, that would be it & I just couldn't get back with him again...but part of me doesn't care. For all the great things we have going for each other, neither of us wants to live full-time with the other. We don't agree on money or kid issues, and we know we would kill each other if we tried to do it full-time. Yet we both would like to be able to do it full-time with someone.

This loneliness is killer, the last time we split up (it only lasted 3 wks) I went & got a puppy help me thru it. She turned 1 yr old on the weekend we split up. Maybe she needs a friend, lol.

Sorry to babble on & on, just so much racing in my head. Thanks for some support.
sure wish I could sleep

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 06-04-2007 - 11:31pm

Welcome to the board mnf34,


Grief is a process and takes time.