is this normal??
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is this normal??
| Sun, 11-28-2004 - 8:57pm |
My boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me a week ago.
My X has been suffering from severe depression (or so I think) he owes me money as he owes other loaners (around 20k). He lives in Europe and one week before we broke up he came to Canada for his convocation ceremony.
In the day before he travels back I told him I wont keep our relation pending I want to know what he was doing to bring us together again. I insisted and he said that we cannot be together and that he realized his feelings for me have changed. That was one day after a long night of love making!!!(I wonder if his feelings have really changed or he is just prentending) so anyhow I cried and asked him to leave my place so he left he was in tears and told me it is beyond his control...
He is broke but has a job and has a PHD. .
I could not let him leave without seeing him so I went to the airport and waited in front of the checkin area. There he was, he hugged me and said that he misses me... I asked him why he has changed and he said : It is a lot of sacrifice for you to come to my country n leave everything behind. I dont want you to suffer because of me so we have to end our relationship here and I wish you all the best and I m sure you will find someone who will love you. I told him I dont want anybody else but him and I dont care where I live as long as I m with him and he is nice to me.
He said ok we will see how we can fix this problem and asked me to meet him on New year in Moscow - Russia(not his country) and see how it goes. I was happy that he promised to work it out.
Once home, he started to tell me that I m better off staying in Canada and that his feelings for me have changed but that he still cares and thinks I m a very atractive woman... I couldnot take it anymore and I asked him not to call me or email me again.
I was devastated.
The next day after a longnight of crying I took the day off went to the gym, bought new clothes and I was feeling better. For few days I was impressed with myself for getting over him so easily. Then on Friday night I went out to a party. I met a lot of couples and lots of uninterresting guys tried to approach me. I was looking for someone who looks like him then I started feeling down and I came home and have been in tears since. I tried to stop crying but I couldnt. I was about to call him today but decided not to as I might regret it. I just feel that it is not over yet between us and I caught myself praying for GOD to bring him back to me... I dont know why this happened to me. I went through a breakdown and could not eat or drink for 2 days, although last week I was feeling great and was making great plans for the weekend.
Did anyone experience such mood swings? Do you think I should call him?
Do you think I should still go to Moscow and meet him there for new year?
I m feeling so bad I dont want him yet I want him so much!! I think I m going nuts
My X has been suffering from severe depression (or so I think) he owes me money as he owes other loaners (around 20k). He lives in Europe and one week before we broke up he came to Canada for his convocation ceremony.
In the day before he travels back I told him I wont keep our relation pending I want to know what he was doing to bring us together again. I insisted and he said that we cannot be together and that he realized his feelings for me have changed. That was one day after a long night of love making!!!(I wonder if his feelings have really changed or he is just prentending) so anyhow I cried and asked him to leave my place so he left he was in tears and told me it is beyond his control...
He is broke but has a job and has a PHD. .
I could not let him leave without seeing him so I went to the airport and waited in front of the checkin area. There he was, he hugged me and said that he misses me... I asked him why he has changed and he said : It is a lot of sacrifice for you to come to my country n leave everything behind. I dont want you to suffer because of me so we have to end our relationship here and I wish you all the best and I m sure you will find someone who will love you. I told him I dont want anybody else but him and I dont care where I live as long as I m with him and he is nice to me.
He said ok we will see how we can fix this problem and asked me to meet him on New year in Moscow - Russia(not his country) and see how it goes. I was happy that he promised to work it out.
Once home, he started to tell me that I m better off staying in Canada and that his feelings for me have changed but that he still cares and thinks I m a very atractive woman... I couldnot take it anymore and I asked him not to call me or email me again.
I was devastated.
The next day after a longnight of crying I took the day off went to the gym, bought new clothes and I was feeling better. For few days I was impressed with myself for getting over him so easily. Then on Friday night I went out to a party. I met a lot of couples and lots of uninterresting guys tried to approach me. I was looking for someone who looks like him then I started feeling down and I came home and have been in tears since. I tried to stop crying but I couldnt. I was about to call him today but decided not to as I might regret it. I just feel that it is not over yet between us and I caught myself praying for GOD to bring him back to me... I dont know why this happened to me. I went through a breakdown and could not eat or drink for 2 days, although last week I was feeling great and was making great plans for the weekend.
Did anyone experience such mood swings? Do you think I should call him?
Do you think I should still go to Moscow and meet him there for new year?
I m feeling so bad I dont want him yet I want him so much!! I think I m going nuts

Hi,
Your story is amazingly similar to mine. Although my ex-boyfriend and I were only dating for 3 intense months... not two years like you. I still fell completely in love. He too suffers from depression and told me that his feelings have changed after I kept asking him over and over again to tell me if something was wrong (for the longest time he simply replied with nothing). I kicked him out after hysterically crying and he left.. as I gave him all his stuff. I was doing great.. working out, making thanksgiving plans.. and then friday came and I went out and saw new york city in love. I was so depressed all of saturday.. I im'ed him telling him I think we should talk about stuff.. and he hasn't responded. I don't understand how he could just drop out of my life like this.. but I am feeling better today. So I think that mood swings are normal. I don't think you should call him.. I contacted my ex and he just didn't respond.. someone who has always been so warm, considerate, and wonderful. Depression is scary. I'm trying to deal too. I'm sorry you're sad. But you'll feel fine again soon. What other choice do we have but to move on?
sonjah
I'm going to end my relationship of 4 years and I'm feeling the same way. I don't know if what I'm doing it right or not... but I know that if I trust my guy instinct, it won't lead me astray... My boyfriend is a college graduate with huge dreams... he wants to travel the world... very romantic right? Well, he's so talented but is lazy and does nothing to further himself. I don't need someone like that. I need someone positive who is trying to constantly make themselves better... You do too... let this guy go... You should have to chase him around the world. I hope that helps... good luck! I'll be praying for you...
(Oh, a friend of mine once told me that she asked God to just smack her with a 2x4 (a piece of wood) to help her with her relationship problems... it worked... I asked for mine... and strange enough, I'm getting the strength to end it...)
~A