Not sure I did the right thing..

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2003
Not sure I did the right thing..
10
Fri, 07-29-2011 - 12:51pm

I would love some input from different people on this issue. I personally can't seem to figure it out.

I just found out that last weekend, my bf dropped his daughter off at some after care gym and went to watch a live band with a single mom he met at his daughter's dance class. They also had dinner. Plans were made ahead of time because both of them dropped both their kids off at the gym and headed out. I didn't ask for any more details. This has been an ongoing problem. He thinks it perfectly okay to go out one on one with other single women. I don't think it is. When he is out of town, I don't go hang out with other single men...i hang out with my family or my group of girl friends..or i'll just stay home and watch TV. He seems to have this inherent need to be with people all the time. He thinks it's perfectly okay for him to go overnight camping with this woman he just

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2003
Fri, 07-29-2011 - 12:58pm
He said they only went out as friends BTW.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Fri, 07-29-2011 - 1:02pm

1. He puts you through hell and gives you nothing in return

2. You two have incompatible views on what is/is not appropriate, and he will not acquiesce to you

3. He barely has time for you

Yeah, he sounds like a great boyfriend.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2003
Fri, 07-29-2011 - 3:09pm
Yea I didn't think so either. That is why I told him to go to hell and that he doesn't deserve me and what I have to offer. I'm just going through the motions right now. One minute I'm fine...the next I'm questioning my decision but mostly because I am afraid of having to start over..
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Fri, 07-29-2011 - 3:27pm

I think that's the thing "they" don't tell you about breakups... For a while, it IS going through the motions. You're going through with something that your heart doesn't really want to do. You're out of your comfort zone and a part of you wants to return to that comfort even if it didn't feel good. So you have to go with what your brain says, even if your heart doesn't agree, and eventually your heart will catch up to your brain because it's slower to adapt. Starting over isn't so bad. You get to experience a first kiss again. There is a lot of beauty in the beginning of a new relationship. It's not something you need to fear.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Fri, 07-29-2011 - 7:21pm
Good for you. Sounds like he thought he was in an open relationship if he takes out other women.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2011
Tue, 08-02-2011 - 3:53pm

Get rid of this guy ASAP!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2002
Tue, 08-02-2011 - 5:28pm

Trust your gut.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Wed, 08-03-2011 - 2:37pm
It sounds a heck of a lot like a bonafide date. I would definitely not be okay with my boyfriend going out one-on-one with a single woman (or married one, at that), even as friends. He knows this and we've agreed we each are not going out alone with opposite sex people.

Question: Did you and your boyfriend have that same discussion and if you did, what did you each agree to?

Myspace Codes

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Mon, 08-08-2011 - 2:03pm

And you actually BELIEVE that?????

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2011
Mon, 08-08-2011 - 8:06pm

I love how you write!