Not sure what to do
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Not sure what to do
| Fri, 03-02-2007 - 9:49pm |
My boyfriend just broke up with me 3 weeks ago, we were having slight problems but nothing i thought we couldn't work out. I gave him pretty much everything I had. He was in financial trouble when we started dating and soon after got a drunk driving which caused him to have to be on the bracelet for a couple months. We work together so I was able to bend my hours be able to take him to work and pick him up. i moved in with him shortly before that began. His place needed work to which I supplied money and my help building. We knew we would face hard times for a few months and that was okay because I thought we were going to be together for a long time. At the begining of January he started acting strange - not himself. I found that he was text messaging a girl from work (his boss) a lot and was talking to her online as well. I of course questioned it and he got mad said that I was invasive. I forgot to mention that he said he loved me a week after we began dating and of course swore up adn down that he would never hurt me. He has two kids that I bonded with very well and parents too. He basically told me he needed space and time to figure things out. I had to move out - I really had nowhere to go and I was in debt due to "our" bills, but i went. I found out only 2 days after that he was staying at that girls house and with my car none the less - I had an extra one for him to use because he didn't have one. The real kicker is this I work with them both and I have to see them - and it is killing me to see them together. I am still so hurt and yet he is able to just move on like I meant nothing, meanwhile she just smiles in my face. I have so much anger and hurt that I can't eat - all I do is sleep and cry. I want to be able to move on I wish I was strong but I just can't do it - I feel like everything is against me and I don't have that kind of strength. I still love him, I gave him my whole life I don't understand how he can just walk away.

Hi smuches and welcome to the board.
I was only with him for 7 months - I knew him a year before that. I know that it seems like a short time but I fell really hard for him and let him become such a big part of my life. I had not been in a relationship before that for almost 6 years. He was the first guy I lived with - slept next to - and loved really. I think that adds to why I am taking it so hard. I just can't kick the feeling that we belong together. Maybe I just want it so bad I feel like I believe it. I am taking steps to talk to someone and try to find a starting point for moving forward. Another thing about me is that I always care too much for others and really not enough for myself - I put everyone's needs before my own. A lot of the time I get burned that way, but it is a part of me. I am in the phase now where I feel lost.
Thank you for the response it helps to get perspective from someone completely objective.