Not sure what to do.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2006
Not sure what to do.....
3
Sat, 06-03-2006 - 5:02pm
Ok, I just broke up with a guy for the second time for him cheating on me. Now before ya'll go and say he's a butt, get over it, I wanna question something. I said that I would never take him back after the "second chance". I really wanna keep to my ideals but feel like my time with him isn't over. All though he won't tell me the reason he did this, I know he is a very outgoing and positive person. I have had a crush on him since 6th grade and he on me. I'm wondering if my depression was what made him leave and he was just too scared to tell me. He told my friend that he really, really cares for me and wants to get back at some point but not till I resolve all my issues. I don't know wheather to believe this or not. He has lied to me in the past and I respect my friends' opinions and they all tell me he is a butt and to move on to a real man.
It hurts cuz this is my first real "adult" relationship and we are both still kinda young. I just turned 25 and he's 24. Is it immiturity and should I reconcider in 5 or so years? We are having our space right now and he has someone else. I'm just don't know what to do.
Thanks to anyone who replies.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2006
Sat, 06-03-2006 - 5:35pm

It is not your fault HE cheated on you. Your depression didn't make him cheat. Something is wrong with HIM. You don't have issues you need to resolve. HE does.

If you take him back again, it will be your fault for not respecting yourself and demanding respect from him. Personally, I wouldn't forgive a cheater, even on a first offense. The fact that you are considering a future with him after he cheated twice shows you don't think much of yourself.

And did you say he already had someone new during your 'break'? He has clearly moved on and you should, too.

BTW... This is not an adult relationship. A mature relationship with a real man does not include cheating and distrust. It includes loyalty, monogomy, fidelity, honesty, etc. Forget this guy and find a real "adult relationship" with someone else.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2006
Sat, 06-03-2006 - 9:43pm
I do think you like him and have feelings for him, but I don't think you love him. I know this sounds harsh, but move on and find a better guy.
Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Sun, 06-04-2006 - 3:45pm

Yes, move on. Why repeat a cycle like that again?
Especially if you have issues with depression, you should be doing things that are fulfilling.

How much information about this situation w/ him do you need to know before you can let go??

Staying with him just gives him more time to make you miserable.

The longer you stay, the more time you'll be moping ...