Nothing to keep my mind off of him!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2004
Nothing to keep my mind off of him!
4
Sun, 02-27-2005 - 1:37am
I really wish that I could just get over him already! It's too hard for me to just not contact him, I keep finding that the more I don't contact him the worse I get, am I just weird or something? I think it's just too easy for me to contact him cause on the internet we always would talk..and the phone, it's not so hard there because he never liked talking on the phone in the first place. I keep trying to find other things to do, like today I cleaned my entire apt. and I also bought the book he's just not the into you. But yet I still think about him every second of the day. I would hang out with my friends but I seemed to have lost them all because while we were together I would turn them down everytime because I was always doing something with him, so now I just stay in my apt bored out of my mind with nothing to do but think about him, then I get all depressed and the cycle just starts over again. So I was wondering what you guys do/did to distract yourself from him?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
Sun, 02-27-2005 - 3:32am

its definately hard work to distract yourself from thinking about him....i agree 100 percent. i feel like the only time im ok is when im out for a walk with my moms best friend. she knows exactly what shes talking about...and always makes me feel better. you need to find someone that you can talk to that makes you feel so much better the second you talk to them. i could be having the worst fit of all, but the second i talk to her everything seems ok.

every time you want to call him or message him talk to someone else. anyone except him.

what i did was make a list of 10 things that make me happy that dont include him. i had to struggle with it. it made me sad to think that everything that i thought made me happy included him. how pathetic is that. so i finally came up with simple stuff that make me happy.... here they are.

-watching tv with my sisters
-a hot bubble bath
-a long walk
-playing with my dog
-getting cozy in a big fleece blanket
-board games with my friends
-surfing the internet
-a good movie
-being in a spotless house
-shopping for clothes

so i tried to do these simple little things...and felt better. of course your list will be different.....it can even include food you enjoy eating. ANYTHING that makes you happy. it also helps to write down everything youre feeling.... and it helps to read books about the situation... or even web sites.. type in 'broken heart' or 'breaking up' or seomthing along those lines into google.

if you feel lonely and dont have a pet already, then get one. theyre wonderful comfort. allow yourself to eat junk food and relax...

do something artistic... get into painting for go for a walk in the bush or city and try to take pictures of things you think are beautiful. anything creative really takes your mind off of it.

exercise gets good energy flowing... and will also make your body look and feel great. it will also make you tired so that you can sleep better at night if youre having trouble.

i went to the bar with some good friends, and guys hit on me!! it felt wonderful to know that other guys find me desirable and if my ex doesnt think so than its HIS LOSS.

let yourself know that there really ARE better guys out there that will never hurt you like this. remmeber that no guy is worth your tears, and the one who is will never make you cry.

every morning when you wake up tell yourself that this day is about YOU. you have no guy to worry about.....its all about YOU now. feel great about yourself. try to stop letting him control your thoughts. YOU are in charge of your own thoughts. take care of yourself.

Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Mon, 02-28-2005 - 9:04pm

good advice,
I went out myself.
My b/f and I of nine months
broke up three weeks fri.
He dropped me off
for a doctor's appt
and went to work.
I haven't had a phone call
or actually seen him since.
Nothing, no explanation, no fight.
So we have had no contact.
Valentines was hard
but it is getting a little easier.
I know I am not ready to get back into
the dating game but I can go out and socialize
with friends.
Right now I am concentrating on me, my kids, my family
my brother and my friends.

spending time with my ds
and my dd and her db/f
spending time family my older brother
spending time friends
bubble baths
reading
shopping
visiting
walking
just time out for me
time on the computer

I miss him but deserved better
still no idea what happened
I wanted more of a committment
wanted to know if we had long term potential
a future together
we have been dating almost a year
got my answer
he bailed
didn't want a relationship with him
only fwb or convenient for him
he wasn't interested in my kids, my family
or my friends
all about him

gone out had fun
life does go on
takes time
life before I met him
miss companionship
but really one-sided
fun being single again
I am okay
got asked out flattering
not quite ready yet
but someday soon
loved your list
feel a little lost
finding my way back to me
nightangel

cleaning out my bedroom closet
playing cats/kitties
sleeping in on sat morn

Nightangel
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2004
Mon, 02-28-2005 - 9:42pm
Did you try to call him? Maybe something happened? If you haven't spoken to him why aren't you trying to see where he is? I guess I'm a bit confused here.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Mon, 02-28-2005 - 10:08pm
I know that what you're going through is hard.
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