now he's dating my friend
Find a Conversation
now he's dating my friend
| Tue, 09-27-2005 - 6:45pm |
my boyfriend broke up with me about 3 weeks ago. we have been dating on and off for 6 years..
last night he Imed me telling me that he is seeing one of our friends (with the same name as me, btw).. then he tells me that me wants to be friends.
I was horrified. I was physically ill, and cried for hours... i cant believe he would do that to me. i cant believe that she would do that to me.
i can barely take this pain as it is.... and then they throw this at me.
how do i deal with this? obviously i wont be talking to either one of them ever again..but what else? im miserable..

Well, first of all, is she a friend? I would say not. Even at my age (late 30's) I still think it's bad karma to date your friend's ex. Sorry, but I do.
Second of all, of course you feel TERRIBLE. I know that sick feeling in your tummy. Man...
Move on for sure. Let go..surround yourself with wonderful girlfriends. Do not rebound. Sit with this and let it work through the process of healing. Get a good book that addresses moving on. Read the boards. Time brings healing and tomorrow is another day.
first i want to say how sorry i am for what you are going through right now...it's hard/painful enough to be heartbroken and deal with letting go of someone you once loved very much and may still love....that's what i think all/if not most of us on this board is going through....BUT to have to deal with that plus betrayal from not 1 person, but 2 people at the same time......wow, i can't even begin to imagine how that feels, but i'm sure it's not a good feeling...again, i'm so sorry for your pain/loss....and although, you had to find out the hard way that this so called "friend" is not a friend afterall, i know how painful that is....to feel betrayed by a friend, and it just down right hurts that you've lost a friend, that's never easy....and i know that just because people may say to you that you should let it go and basically make it seem like it shouldn't bother you because she's not really a friend, the pain is still there and very real.
i wish i could give you more solid advice...but i think you just have to find what works for you because everyone is different, and i don't have much experience with this.....but, i do believe strongly that no matter what hardships/situations we're dealing with....TIME alone will not make the pain go away.....i think you just have to let yourself feel what you feel, cry, scream etc...just let yourself feel it...and some how look for your lesson in all this....what is it you need to see about yourself through this situation...because i believe everything happens for a reason and there is something we need to see in every situation we're faced with...something we need to learn/un learn...i know now's not the time you want to hear about lessons and especially about looking at yourself, because right now you probably just want to look at your ex friend and ex boyfriend and the horrble thing they have done to you...but somewhere in this painful experience is something you need to see...other than that i really don't know what else you can do...i don't think you can make this pain go away...i think it's something you just have to feel for now.
Take care, and again, i'm so sorry for your pain/loss.
Keep your head up Jenn!!!
Now is the time to get strong and say to HELL WITH BOTH OF THEM!! He never loved you and neither did she as your friend. Love does not do that to people!!
I know it hurts but after 6 years you now have to put up with a loser like this???
The only way to deal with it is to ignore him & her. Do not accept any phone calls from him or her. NO CONTACT!!
Hang out with your REAL FRIENDS, or go see family. Pamper yourself....you dont need them!!!