now i got kicked in the gut
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now i got kicked in the gut
| Fri, 10-26-2007 - 2:58pm |
So when I was in San Fran last weekend I met with one of G's friends for lunch. He and his wife are friends of his from college and I love them to death. I was surprised when

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hi there... im really sorry :(... i hope you are feeling somewhat better now.
maybe it was a good thing in the respect you realize you have to cut people out of your life that are connected to your ex.
Don't play the 'what if' torture game.
oh i know the what if game is useless, which is why i come here to vent. ha ha. i feel slightly better...the sting is gone. I should have known this would happen eventually, I was just surprised by my own reaction. I could say that yeah, i really hope none of our mutual freinds ever mentions him again to me (especially if it comes to him meeting someone else-which i'm sure he will) but I know that's unrealistic in the long run. Sure I can take as many stops as possible to avoid it but you can't protect yourself completely forever.
But the last few days I've been feeling down for sure. I'm tried of trying to be positive and do everything "right." The dull ache has for sure set in.
And yes, i have plans this weekend, even though I really don't feel like doing most of them.
Hi MDRSFR,
I'm so sorry you're having a tough day. I think you and I started this whole process about the same time. I was feeling strong last week, but for some reason this week (especially today) has been especially difficult. People are not trying to be as "careful" around us about our exes - I found out last night that mine is traveling to another city this weekend for a pub crawl. I think I had the same reaction that you did - my stomache and my heart dropped and it made me hurt all over again. It just sucks to think I'm so miserable, he didn't want me and now he's able to move on. But in all reality, I'm doing my best to move on as well. I think what you're feeling is natural. It's just so darn hard. It'd just be nice to know that it was hard on them as well.
Hang in there and be strong. Do something really nice for yourself. Also, I've found writing in a journal each night to be really helpful. I just write everything I'm feeling. One night all I wrote about was all the things I missed about him. It's a way to get the feelings out at least. I wish there was a way to make the pain go away quicker - if you find one, please let me know!
Hey there-
I was wondering what happened to you! I'm sorry to hear you heard about your ex too. It kind of feels like the breakup hangover stage, doesn't it. You just feel kind of dull and listless but you know that you have to just suffer through time to make it better (and eat McDonald's-if you're really hung over-ha ha).
I remember reading in breakup books that there comes a time where your breakup cheerleaders kind of move on and stop asking you how your're doing (although people are amazed I "seem" so healthy, so I must be doing a good job of not bringing anyone around me down). You stop getting pity free lunches and dinners (hey, those were kind of nice!). Now, you're left to your own devices.
The reality of being single (not that's bad in and of itself-just getting used to it) is setting in. The realization that I have to create a new world of getting out there and meeting new people so that i'm not home alone. It's a bit mentally exhausting. Maybe i'm going for too much, too soon.
I write a lot on my blog (which my ex and his friends cannot read!) so that is helpful. I talk to the air all the time as if I'm talking to him. Everyone tells me now that they are surprised he didnt' want me back. They said that they didnt' say anything to me at the time but that they toally thought he would come to his senses. Does that make me feel better or worse? I can't really tell. I'm flattered that they thought we had such a good relationship (well, so did I) but sad that he is the only one that can't see it.
I accept it, I really do. But, I guess I'm just venting here because it helps.
Wow. Just when you think it can't get any worse...
Not only did I hear about my ex Thursday night, but Friday night at dinner after I had just gotten done saying "I never want to hear anything about him" one of my friends said: "I know I shouldn't tell you this, but I think it might help." Pause here for a moment - any time the words "I shouldn't tell you this" cross someone's lips you should instantly pull out a roll of duct tape and seal their mouth shut as if toxic gas was about to pass through their lips. No good can come from such a phrase. None. Nada.
So she continues: "He told his coworkers that he's had major doubts about you ever since that fight you had in August." Then she said some other stuff. I'm not sure what it was because I instantly deteriorated into a pile of blubbering mess at the restaurant. I left, sat in the car and proceeded to sob for the next three hours and couldn't sleep the rest of the night.
We had a fight. That's natural. It was our only major fight and I figured that was part of the reason we broke up. That doesn't mean I need to relive it. I mean, I was already dumped. You don't need to reject me all over again!
On top of that, another friend was mad at me for being late to pick her up to go to a party (I warned her two hours in advance that I was going to be late and that she should go alone if it was going to be a problem). She said I'm always late and the most selfish person she knows. Then she calls me today and says she's ready to talk to me about how mad she is at me. Sigh. I told her I'm too emotionally drained to deal with anything and I'll talk to her when I talk to her.
Seriously. I think everyone is breaking up with me. I'm beginning to think I'm in some sort of sick video game where there's some twisted kid directing my (and others) every move.
I was hoping to give you a good update. Please, please tell me that YOU had a good weekend. That would make my day. Sorry for all of the venting. I'm really not crazy and not normally this angry, but I've just had it with people and this whole situation.
OMG, I'm SO sorry! I would have probably reacted the same way if I heard my ex say something like that about me, not to mention it sounds like he's going around saying not so nice things about you behind your back. I'm really mad to hear your "friend" told you about him. To me that's not being a good friend at all, especially when you told them not to mention your ex. When someone says, "i know i shouldn't tell you this but..." it's almost way too tempting to not hear what they are going to say, so shame on her/him for saying that to you. Maybe you should avoid this gossipy person for awhile. You don't need that in your life.
As far as the other stuff, sometimes when it rains it pours. I had something similar happen to me last year with an old friend. We had a falling out and it just got progressively worse for awhile. I really felt crappy about myself. But it's one day at a time. All you have to do is put one foot in front of the other and go forward. It's just a setback. And I know it's super cliché, but this too shall pass. I'm going to also put in here an email a friend sent to me which pertained to my situation last week, but I think might give you good perspective too...
"So does it really matter what his reaction to the break up is, especially since you don't really know - your feelings about seeing this news is all based on speculation.
Holy cow, (she said, handing you a roll of duct tape) what a friend!
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