Now I understand NC

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2006
Now I understand NC
3
Mon, 06-19-2006 - 7:03pm
Now I understand the whole NC thing! I hadn’t spoken to my ex for 12 days, the last time we spoke was the day he left me without telling me. He kissed me goodbye and led me to believe I’d be seeing him the next day and that everything was great, then he sent the text message the next day…COWARD! Anyways, I was doing so well. Been going out with girlfriends, meeting a ton of new people, I even noticed this morning that he wasn’t the one on my mind. I went to Starbucks for lunch and was going through my text messages and decided I was ready to delete the break up message when low and behold who texts me but him. He said he missed me and he’s sorry he hasn’t called but he’s not ready, he said the kids asked about me this weekend and that I will always have a special place in their heart and to tell my dad happy fathers day for him. Immediately my eyes welled up and my body started shaking, I had to leave starbucks. I went to the car and bawled. It was like someone threw me into a cold pool in the middle of winter. Every word he wrote hit a nerve. Then it was like this woman I don’t know came out of me, I couldn’t stop texting him and telling him I miss him and asking him to go on a walk with me in our favorite town. BIG MISTAKE…because he didn’t respond and now I feel worse. I was doing so much better when he was ignoring me. I feel like I was climbing my ladder and he just had to come and knock me down a few rungs!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2006
Mon, 06-19-2006 - 7:18pm

hi funlvnbabe23

his a totally a loser, no balls, no guts and totally a coward. i cant blame you for sending him a reply at all. but actually i'm assuming his just waiting for the right time..to talk to you on the phone or in person. give him some time.

maybe a month or so...you call him. dont wait for him to call you..if you could block your number or used the payphone for him to answer your call do it. talk to him get that closure you have the right to do that dear. i know its hard but you have to. for you to be free.

whatever your plan is GOOD LUCK

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Mon, 06-19-2006 - 9:27pm
It's okay, don't worry. It's normal to get weak and "fall off the wagon". I've been there and done that too. When you love someone in a situation like this, it's hard to do what's best for you, which of course is to have no contact and move on with your life. All you want to do is to have all the pain go away and to have things the way they were with the person. So when the person contacts you, it is tempting. But you can get back to that place where you were, where you were slowly moving on and hanging out with friends and feeling better. Just get back up, dust yourself off and keep moving forward. It will get easier, as long as you try your hardest not to have contact. I know it's hard, but be strong.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2006
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 4:16pm
I had never really thought of the NC rule before I came to this website. I was going on my 4th day of NC when my ex bf left me a vm lastnight (I broke up with him last Thursday). He sounded sad, I thought maybe he wanted to apologize for being such an a-hole so I called. Big mistake! He accused me of cheating and all these other things, I told him that if it made him feel better keep telling himself those lies because he KNOWS they are not true. He cussed me out and called me a worthless piece of you-know-what. At that point I hung up on him. He proceeded to send me nasty text messages. From now on, no matter how horrible and lonely I feel, no matter how much he begs, no matter how sad he sounds I will NOT contact him. Period! You should do the same. I'm sorry you are hurting, I've been there. Take a moment and consider how bad you will feel if you contact him and it turns out the way it did last time. Hugs!