Now I'm worring about HIM

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2007
Now I'm worring about HIM
4
Sun, 07-29-2007 - 11:05pm

Well, I did it. after the longest and most horrible day ever (he didn't come back from his cottage till 7). thankfully I didn't cry and he remained calm...but now everytime I think that I'LL be okay...I worry about him! I feel so horrible and I told him to promise me he'd try to be happy, not work too hard and go out with his friends...but of course he'll feel awful. I thought it would be hard enough to worry about myself but I can't stop thinking about my sweetie...if I'm allowed to call him that anymore. He's going to be/is devasted and it's my fault. and I did this to him...

wow, this really is the worst day of my life

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Sun, 07-29-2007 - 11:14pm

i have a question. im not sure of the situation and all, but im assuming you broke up with your bf? so my bf broke up with me 2 weeks. obviously i was AND STILL AM very very heartbroken and upset. thing is...HE BROKE UP WITH ME, because he said he didnt see a future with me..and he cried, and said this is the hardest decision of his life, this is so hard for him, hes losing his bestfriend, hes just miserable...my question is...if hes the one that broke up how is he upset??? this is what he wanted to do. i guess i dont understand, the two serious relationships i had, both times-- i wasnt the one that wanted the breakup, so i dont get it.

just dont understand how someone ends something and then is the one upset-- AND PLEASE!!! DONT TAKE IT THE WRONG WAY-- I AM NOT TRYING TO BE RUDE IN ANY WAY, just curious.

thank you so much.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Mon, 07-30-2007 - 12:54am

You're not heartless that's good.

But do him a favour. Leave him alone to get over it. If you keep at him all the time you aren't giving him the space he needs to heal. Rather you're giving him hope and prolonging his agony.

There are reasons you broke up with him (which is what I'm guessing happened) Obviously they were good reasons. He's had lots and lots of years without you, and he's going to be fine eventually. But initiate NC please.

- There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2007
Mon, 07-30-2007 - 1:36am

I also understand why you're questioning this as the person not initating the breakup. well, I'm still confused myself. the first part of my story started with the title 'first boyfriend 4 years' or something. I posted this under a different topic to get advice on a different aspect. my whole 'motto' this horrible weekend is...'well people don't always breakup just because someone was a jerk...same goes for broken engagements'. I've been wondering the whole relationship if this was going to last but it took until now to do it because although I wasn't able to be super content with the rest of our future together I knew I had to break it off because of doubts...doubts are not good, and they were not going away no matter how much i wanted them to. i think I'm just young and really don't know what the hell I want.

so basically to answer your question I still love him and care about him but can't go my whole life wondering if this is the right choice. so that's why I'm super upset even though I'm the 'dumper' and I'm just so worried about him and feel so bad...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Mon, 07-30-2007 - 4:42pm

It's absolutely normal to feel badly as the one doing the breaking, you're not heartless, you know.

Myspace Codes