Ok I thought I did it, but I guess not
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Ok I thought I did it, but I guess not
| Mon, 07-23-2007 - 2:11pm |
I told my fiance that I wanted to break up because I was unhappy. We had several "talks" about. I even gave him the ring back. But he was just not budging. So i resorted to an email because the talks were just draining me. I told him "I can not work on this relationship anymore, I want him to move out as soon as he can. I need my space." But he is acting like he never read the email. He still calls me baby, sleeps in my bed, kisses me goodbye, and it makes me feel creepy. Its like he is in denial.
So my question is, what do I do now? I have done all I could. I would feel wrong to start packing up his stuff or something like that.
BTW - It is my house and I bought all the furniture in my bedroom. I pay most of the mortgage.

Well, you did do it, he's just not accepting it. So unfortunately you need to play hardball. Let him know both verbally and in writing (and had something to him so he can't deny getting it) that he needs to move out by X date (give him a reasonable amount of time to find a new place but not TOO much) and then you should go stay with a friend in the meantime if you can. At a minimum, sleep on the couch. He nees to know you're serious. If the date comes and goes, change the locks while he's out of the house, and leave him a suitcase by the door with basics--he can make arrangements to get the rest of his stuff later.
You may however want to check with a lawyer to make sure you won't be breaking any laws by basically evicting him in this manner.
I'm sorry you have to go through this--breakups are hard enough (even when you are the one doing the breaking up) without having to endure this.
Sheri
Perhaps you're sending mixed messages when you tell him to get out but allow him to carry on as he always did?
I know this probrably isn't the best example, but after my ex dumped me, I stuck him back where he belonged: with the rest of the population. It also mean that when he called me with a pet name, I bluntly reminded him that our status had changed and he'd address me by my first name like everyone else. I can tell you it drove home the message pretty quickly.
So let him sleep in another room. Or YOU go sleep in another room. Tell him to address you by your name. Step back when he kisses you goodbye. Little signs that show you you mean business.
cheers.