OMG I did something STUPID

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2007
OMG I did something STUPID
14
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 5:42pm

I did something really dumb today.

My ex posts on this very small, local message board about this crazy tabletop game he plays (think Dungeons & Dragons, only worse). I check the board every now and then, just to see if he ever posts anything about me...which is pathetic, because I KNOW that he wouldn't do that (he's very private & doesn't share that stuff w/ his friends there) and because it makes me feel like a total loser. He never has posted anything about us, and it's all stupid game-related topics, so I don't know WHY I did what I did...

Well, today, mostly just for poops & giggles, I tried to login to the site with his name, using his old yahoo ID as the password. And it worked. It totally freaked me right out. I logged out as soon as I realized I was logged in (less than 5 seconds). I didn't post anything or alter anything in his account...and I swear to God I didn't think it would work.

Problem is - if he were to look on his user ID name on that site, it shows the last time he logged in (date, time)...which WAS March 17...well, DUH, my dumb ass just logged in as HIM on March 20. So, now what?

I'm torn between calling him and confessing - or just waiting to see if anything comes of it. Chances are he won't even notice. And if he does, I doubt he would think *I* was the one who 'hacked' his account. No damage was done at all, and it was really wrong of me to do it. I know this.

If I do tell him, I face him seeking revenge on me - he's hacked into my yahoo email before, so it would be easy for him to do it again. If I don't tell him, I'm going to constantly be wondering if he did find out and IF he did - whether or not he's out trying to ruin my life (he could potentially hack bank accounts, online bills, etc). Please don't tell me that I deserve it - because I know that turnabout is fair play...but, I know many of the other posters here have been checking the email, text, & phone messages of their exes, which is just as bad...I just need advice on how to handle it now.

HELP.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2006
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 5:57pm
Don't call him and tell him you did this. Just pretend you never did this, and never do something like that again. If you DO confess to him, I think you'll just open up another can of worms. Just keep reading the posts here, and you'll see what kind of heartache arises when you do things like this. It's helped me alot.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2007
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 6:12pm
Thanks - good advice. I keep wavering between 'tell him' and 'pretend you never did it'. I just don't know if there is any way he could actually FIND OUT it was me? That's what worries me. Then what would I do? I know telling him would only piss him off and make my life a living hell. I'm on day 3 of 'no contact', and I'm trying really hard to move on...so I'm really quite pissed at myself for even being so stupid as to DO something like this.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 6:13pm

I would not tell him--provided you are 100% certain you won't do it again.

If he asks, then you should tell him, but I wouldn't volunteer the information.

And if you don't think you can stay out of his account, then you should throw yourself on your sword, so to speak. Apologize profusely for invading his privacy, and let him know he should change his password (and change YOURS just to be on the safe side).

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2006
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 6:20pm
You are not stupid, you are human. I think alot of us do crazy things when we are having a meltdown. Just don't do it again, okay:) It IS wrong. Learn from it. I highly doubt that he'll find out that you did it. If he does, confess, apologize, THEN, tell him to leave you alone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2007
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 6:21pm

Thank you, as well.

I'm NOT going to get into his account again. EVER. I created a 'fake' account on the message board there - just to see what information comes up when a registered user signs in. It does NOT show the last time/date they were logged in, so I'm pretty sure I'm in the clear. I will also delete the 'fake' account too - I have NO interest in reading about that crazy crap.

I know he only visits that site once in a blue moon, so it's the agony of 'when will he be there next and when might he find out' that is killing me. I guess only time will tell. Like I said, I don't think he'd even suspect me of doing it - he doesn't know that I know he posts on that board...I happened across it sometime ago while looking up a phone number for a friend (her bf plays the same game as my ex).

We are not on the greatest of terms, and I know that if I told him I did this, he'd go ballistic...which I don't need. Granted, no harm was done, and he seemed to think it was 'ok' to hack my email account a few yrs ago when we lived together...so, I don't know what he'd think of this (considering we are broke up, etc).

That is one thing I did think about - if I did tell him, I would explain what I did and how dumb it was, and then just ask him to change his password.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2007
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 6:24pm

Thanks...I guess I am just really scared - I know what he's capable of (he is going to school for IT repair, etc) so it bothers me that he could literally destroy my life through hacking my stuff...which may sound a little dramatic, but, I know him pretty well and wouldn't put it past him.

Guess you could say this scared me silly - I'm NEVER doing that crap again...Sometimes I wish there was an 'erase' button where we could go back and erase everything we know about them and every urge to 'check in on them'...you know - forget you know their password, forget their voice, forget their email, etc...URGH.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 6:27pm

He probably won't even notice. Myspace does the same thing, but as soon as you log in it changes the last log-in to that moment.

Don't tell him! ANd don't feel too bad. I hacked into ex BFs brand spanking new profile on amateurmatch.com and changed it so that he was a horrible person on the profile. He changed it back and hasn't said a word. I know it was juvenile and stupid and I'm not going to mess with it again because I'm sure it gave him the satisfaction of knowing that I'm paying attention to what he's doing and that I care what he's doing. It violates no contact to boot.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2007
Wed, 03-21-2007 - 10:05am

I've done some playing around, and the ONLY way he would notice would be if he just went to the site, found a message he had started, and then clicked on his user name to bring up his profile...that is the ONLY place that shows the last log in time, etc...so I HIGHLY doubt he's going to do that.

I'm not going to tell him, and I don't think he's going to find out. If he does, I can play stupid...from the posts he's made on there, it would be VERY easy for him to believe he's pissed someone off enough for them to try to hack his acct anyhow! LOL

LOL on the amateurmatch.com thing...that's too funny. Just be careful - I think you could get in trouble (with the law) if he reported that...it's like invasion of privacy or something.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2007
Wed, 03-21-2007 - 10:15am
Hi northern lites. Did he ever find out. I feel your agony but your post actually made me laugh a little. I've done stuff like that before. I never told and I don't think he ever knew.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
Wed, 03-21-2007 - 10:16am
lol -- I'd like to see the police report on that -- "officer, my ex-girlfriend got on my skanky dating website and changed the lies that I put on it to the brutal truth. Please arrest her." Of course he'd have to prove it was me --good luck with that.

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