OMG I did something STUPID

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2007
OMG I did something STUPID
14
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 5:42pm

I did something really dumb today.

My ex posts on this very small, local message board about this crazy tabletop game he plays (think Dungeons & Dragons, only worse). I check the board every now and then, just to see if he ever posts anything about me...which is pathetic, because I KNOW that he wouldn't do that (he's very private & doesn't share that stuff w/ his friends there) and because it makes me feel like a total loser. He never has posted anything about us, and it's all stupid game-related topics, so I don't know WHY I did what I did...

Well, today, mostly just for poops & giggles, I tried to login to the site with his name, using his old yahoo ID as the password. And it worked. It totally freaked me right out. I logged out as soon as I realized I was logged in (less than 5 seconds). I didn't post anything or alter anything in his account...and I swear to God I didn't think it would work.

Problem is - if he were to look on his user ID name on that site, it shows the last time he logged in (date, time)...which WAS March 17...well, DUH, my dumb ass just logged in as HIM on March 20. So, now what?

I'm torn between calling him and confessing - or just waiting to see if anything comes of it. Chances are he won't even notice. And if he does, I doubt he would think *I* was the one who 'hacked' his account. No damage was done at all, and it was really wrong of me to do it. I know this.

If I do tell him, I face him seeking revenge on me - he's hacked into my yahoo email before, so it would be easy for him to do it again. If I don't tell him, I'm going to constantly be wondering if he did find out and IF he did - whether or not he's out trying to ruin my life (he could potentially hack bank accounts, online bills, etc). Please don't tell me that I deserve it - because I know that turnabout is fair play...but, I know many of the other posters here have been checking the email, text, & phone messages of their exes, which is just as bad...I just need advice on how to handle it now.

HELP.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2007
Wed, 03-21-2007 - 10:47am
Only thing is - it could be proven that it was you...especially if he contacts the site and they track down the ISP (internet service provider) of all of the logins to his profile, which can pinpoint what computer logged in...I learned about this in my last college class...LOL Not trying to scare you...I just know that my ex would be out for revenge if he knew I did something like that. Which is why I logged out AS SOON AS I realized I had actually cracked his password...didn't alter/change/post/delete ANYTHING...
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
Wed, 03-21-2007 - 11:04am

Except stupid boy GAVE me his email password so that I could check it and has never bothered to change it. Also gave me the amateurmatch.com password in November and asked me to take his profile down (the profiles have been an ongoing issue -- I posted for a while on the cybercheating board). I think I'm good since he permitted me to use the sites and he's just too dumb to change his passwords back.

However, for my own mental health I am resolving to stop getting into his email and his dating profiles. If it's done, then what he is doing is none of my business anymore. It only hurts me more to see that he's putting up those damn profiles.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2007
Wed, 03-21-2007 - 11:16am

LOL, in that case, if the moron gave you the passwords, you are probably OK! LOL

Most people don't realize that everything they do on every computer you use can be tracked and/or traced back to them. That's how kiddie-porn perverts get busted using the local library computers, etc...

When my ex and I were together, this was early in our relationship (Oct 05), he hacked my email with a 'keystroke recorder'...he was able to log in to my yahoo...see all my contacts, all my incoming and outgoing mail. He did this because he 'thought' I was cheating on him (which I wasn't). Then when he finally told me he did it, he told me I had NO right being mad because it was on HIS computer and it was 'his' property. I will never ever forgive him for that, so I guess maybe I'm feeling totally guilty that I was that stupid to do something like that back to him...

I'm with you - no more of it. I do keep checking the site I hacked, just so I can tell if he's logged in after I did yesterday...if he does, then I'm in the clear...UGH. I don't know why I do this to myself - I am on DAY 4 of NC and need to stop!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
Wed, 03-21-2007 - 11:24am
I haven't talked to him since Thursday -- so that part is good. We have emailed, but I have kept my emails restricted to business. "The deposition is at 1:00, you can be there if you choose, but you are not required to be present." That sort of thing. He on the other hand, has sent me mean mean emails. I have been checking on him through friends and his mom is in constant contact with me (she is my rock). However, I think that all needs to stop too. If we're done, then we're done. I don't check up on anyone else, I shouldn't be doing that with him.

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