one week

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2005
one week
4
Thu, 07-21-2005 - 1:40am

hey everyone. first i just want to say that finding this board and reading all of the stories and advice has been comforting.

so it has been one week today that my boyfriend and i ended our relationship. wow. i still can't believe we aren't together, but i didn't think i would make it 5 minutes without him and now it has been a week. one day at a time really works.

here is the thing though- i caved and called him yesterday afternoon even though i knew it wouldn't be the best thing for me to. and it was really weird, he just chatted with me like nothing had happened and i even found myself laughing and the stupid stuff he was saying. he told me that i could call whenever i want and that he will always pick up the phone. i feel really confused about it because we didn't even talk about the break up or anything. it was just so good to hear his voice, even though i know i am wishing we will get back together the thought of not talking to him ever agian is just awfull.
any thoughts?

and also i just wanted to share this. i know nighttime is really hard at least for me because i am used to spending nights at his place and i feel really alone in my bed. but i found this and i read it at night and it helps:

'no matter how bleak the middle of the night seems, the beautiful simple truth is dawn is on it's way and it can't be stopped'
-it seems simple but it's true, the sun will come up, tomorrow is a new day.
hugs to everyone and i hope you are all hanging in there.
talk to you soon
xoxoxoxo
~ash

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2004
In reply to: ashdeebug
Thu, 07-21-2005 - 6:19pm

Hi,

Couple of things: he said that you can call him anytime, but he never told you that he will call you... I am not sure it's a good idea to contact him, unless he will be the one to contact you next.

He might have been nice to you for a couple of reasons:
1) he feels guilty
2) it boosts his self-confidence (that has nothing to do with you), that he is still admired
3) he has someone else (in my case - every time I meet my ex b/f on the street he is very nice, smily, not offended... but I know it's because he has someone else right now and she is the center of his attention - at the moment he doesn't care about me at all. BTW< it's been a week and half for me exactly).

I did a similar thing last week - I sent him an email, he responded, I sent him another one - he never did and then I saw him with his new girl - since then - the is NC for me at all...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2005
In reply to: ashdeebug
Fri, 07-22-2005 - 12:39am

ahhhh! i know everything you said was true even if the reality of it was a little hard to acknowledge. i think he does feel guilty- things got pretty nasty on his part in the end and i know he feels bad about it.

i just don't know what to do because i really do feel like we had such a connection and i don't want to just never talk to him again- also we have a lot of common friends so i know i am going to see him sometimes and i don't want it to just be akward and horrible.

what to do? what to do?

thanks again for letting me vent...
~ash

Avatar for moet1118
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2005
In reply to: ashdeebug
Fri, 07-22-2005 - 2:41am

I'm feeling your pain and I'm sorry you are going through this right now - I can't remember how I stumbled upon this board either but it has been a constant source of comfort to me the last 3 yrs now.
I don't really have any new advice to give other than what you've already read...
but I do want to say: when I read your post the first thing that came to mind is Boy,
he sounds like a pretty together guy to say he'll always pick up the phone when you call.
To me that says the feelings are still there; but his mind is made up concerning the relationship.
You didn't post what exactly happened between you, but if he's had NC with you for a week
and was in his normal, casual, silly mood when YOU initiated contact - it still suggest (to me) that although it was good to hear from you - he's pretty comfortable with the decision to breakup.
Anyways, after reading your bottom paragraph, 'no matter how bleak the middle of the night seems, the beautiful simple truth is dawn is on it's way and it can't be stopped
-it seems simple but it's true, the sun will come up, tomorrow is a new day!'

thanks, this gave me H O P E ! You're gonna be just FINE!
Continue to post we'd love to hear from you again...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2004
In reply to: ashdeebug
Fri, 07-22-2005 - 10:58am

Hi,

I hope you are doing well. I read your post and was thinking - since you will be running into him sometimes, just be happy, be yourself, as nothing has happened. Life goes on. Don't seem sad, or frustrated. Don't initiated conversation unless he comes and talk to you first. Try to keep YOU and YOUR LIFE under control. The rest will take care of itself. Trust me on that one... :)