Only one week ago...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2007
Only one week ago...
3
Thu, 11-08-2007 - 2:35pm

He was the love of my life. We were together for almost 5 years. I say "almost" because he dumped me 2 days before our 5 year anniversary. He claimed that I was too clingy and that he wanted freedom. He wanted not to have to check in with someone, and not to fear telling his gf that he was going out to a friend's house or something. He said he didn't want to drag on the relationship any further and that he stayed in it hoping it would get better, that my clingyness was just a phase. In my defense, I always felt second string to his friends. Sure I would complain when he went out, but I never stopped him. When he was with me I never felt that his attention was on me. Like if he was with me and a friend phones, he'd stay on the phone for a long period of time. However if I ever called and he was with friends, he'd be quick to get me off the phone. His mind was always on the next thing and not me. Whenever we ate out together, he wouldn't talk to me. He'd be using the internet on his phone. I'd talk to him but he'd never look up. If he did, he wouldn't really speak back. He said that he knew I wasn't the one he was going to marry. He said that he wanted me to find another guy and to fix myself because I was the reason our relationship ended.

It's been exactly a week today and I'm bouncing back and forth from being good and "strong" to being a wreck. I have dreams about him and they only cause me to wake up yearning for him to be with me again. He was my best friend and I can't imagine my life without him. I tried to go out and be with (mutual) friends, but it was hard. I feel empty and dead inside. He told me he wanted to cut off all communication for at least a month or 2 because 'out of sight, out of mind' heals. But i couldn't imagine doing that. For 5 years he was my best friend, confidante, and lover. Sure we had rough patches but I always thought we'd get through it. This past year has been the rockiest but I thought we'd bounce right back up.

I was heartbroken. There I was excited for our anniversary plans, and suddenly my life as i knew it and my future as i thought it was- gone. I saved him again as a friend on myspace, as a safety net in a way. I wanted to feel that part of him was still there. However it only backfired on me because I found out he's going out to a weekend long party this coming weekend.

Why is he getting over me so quickly? Here I am trying to stay busy and I still feel that I can't move on.

He was my first EVERYTHING. I thought he was the one. What hurt the most is hearing him say he wanted me to have another guy. He told me that he wasn't going to date for another year or 2. I guess because he craved the freedom? During our first "break" which was basically a day of not talking- he called me and asked for me back bc he said he couldnt see me with another guy and he wanted me. What happened now? Why is he moving on so quickly? The days are long and I can't seem to see when this pain will end.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 11-08-2007 - 3:21pm

Welcome to the board ming_88,


Sorry you are going through this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2006
Thu, 11-08-2007 - 3:22pm

I am feeling the pain exactly the way you do. Last night, my bf decided to breakup. He said he cannot find the spark with me. He wants to breakup so that I can find a "better" guy. He did not want to string me along anymore.


I suggest you come to this board and get support from other posters. Although my relationship lasted only 8 months. It still hurts.


I am going to 32 years old and I was also sure that I found what I was looking for.


I printed all Sandra's advice and read them to help me get through this.


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-1997
Thu, 11-08-2007 - 3:28pm

I feel for you and I'm sorry you're hurting.