the only way out is through

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2006
the only way out is through
Wed, 04-11-2007 - 11:46am

It's true the saying: The only way out is through. I broke up with my first boyfriend last June. After two months of not seeing him I felt like I was in a good place.. But when I found out he was dating another girl (and then had to see them all the time at school), I felt like I fell right back to square one. I don't think I have ever felt so uncontrolled and not-like-myself. I did some things that I never thought I would do to try to get his attention back. At the back of my mind I knew we weren't meant for each other so I kept trying to "be friends" with him, despite the hurt I felt. Let's just say that it was definitely harder on me to do that but I had to realize for myself the damage I was doing.. I guess I'm pretty stubborn because it took months of cycling between being friends and hating him to realize.. I'M OVER IT.
I feel like I have truely just stopped caring about what he's doing, who he's with.. wondering if he would call etc etc. I think he has noticed my change in attitude and is trying really hard to be around me alot.. asking to hang out and study together. Normally I'd jump all over this and say yes.. but today.. I COULD NOT CARE LESS. I don't have this need for him anymore the way I used to.
So I guess what I'm saying is that after having gone through this, I know that everyone heals differently. Everyone handles things differently and everyone gets through a breakup at different rates. I felt bad for not "being over it" faster but I realize now I shouldn't have pushed myself and things would fall back into place. All the "mistakes" I have done will hopefully make me a better person and ready for my next relationship/breakup in the future. It's been 9 mths!! So long.. I'm ready to meet my next love.

Good luck to all those going through a breakup.. There is alot of light at the end of the hall.

SMILE/LAUGH and it'll come naturally again!