Ouch

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
Ouch
6
Wed, 05-30-2007 - 9:01pm
So I talked to my exe today. And he told me all about the girl he met on his vacation. How cool she was, how they were together every night. Even made sure I saw pictures. Why does he think this is okay to talk to me about? And why does it still hurt? I am sobbing like a small child right now. He doesnt think about me at all and then he goes and talks about other girls to me. I loved him so much and he just tossed away anything he had... any feelings he had. It just really hurts to hear all that. To think of him being with another girl... sleeping in the same bed... and lord knows what else. After three months, why does it still hurt? I am sick to my stomach right now. I even started seeing other people and now this made me backslide. I just want to be completely over it already.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2006
In reply to: lindseyloo3035
Wed, 05-30-2007 - 9:42pm
That must hurt. I haven't talked to my ex for three months, and even the thought of him finding someone else gets me teary and sick to my stomach. It sounds like nc would be your best solution right now. And I think this time, it'll be alot easier to stay clear of him because of what you know now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2007
In reply to: lindseyloo3035
Wed, 05-30-2007 - 10:00pm

oooouch. Dang lindseyloo, even I'm hurt after hearing that! What a horrible conversation that must have been.
You know, three months really isn't that long. And though you're crying like a baby right now, I be you're crying less often than you were three months ago. Try to see the progress you have made and focus on that instead of feeling like you should be all the way there. I know you're hurting, but don't be disappointed in yourself for not being fully healed.

It really is awful thinking about the ex being with someone else. Who knows what his intentions are in telling you about this. Seems a bit insensitive to me. Who knows, though--maybe you've been playing it so cool around him that he thinks you really are over it all and ready to hear these things. It's okay that you're not ready to hear these things, and like the other poster said, maybe NC is the way to go from now on. If you're anything like me, deep down inside you might have been holding out some small glimmer of hope that a small part of him was still pining for you and he'd be coming back. Maybe the pain and shock of what he's told you will help you let go of that so that you can move on. Whether your friends or more in the future, right now needs to be about moving on and creating a life that does not involve him and that definitely does not involve his stories and pictures of other women.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2004
In reply to: lindseyloo3035
Wed, 05-30-2007 - 10:50pm

***hugs***

It's never easy hearing how someone has moved on before you. It reminds me of the Gwen Stefani song "Cool" (I was just listening to it before I read this) and someone even posted in reply to the video "it's great that people can be friends with their ex's but I can't".

I would feel crappy too if I was in your shoes, and there is nothing wrong with that, but the best thing you can do is put on a smile (even if you have to fake it) and say good for him and pick up the pieces and move on. This is just a setback, don't let it take you back to square one, things will get better, we all know that.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
In reply to: lindseyloo3035
Thu, 05-31-2007 - 12:35am
Thanks guys, its just been a rough day. Maybe im not ready to be his friend yet. I thought i was. Or maybe he's not ready to my friend yet. who knows, but i know im going ot continue to move on and go on that date tomorrow... and have an excellent time. No more tears.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2007
In reply to: lindseyloo3035
Thu, 05-31-2007 - 10:02am
I hope today started off better . . .
Good for you, go on that date. Your new life without him is a chance to be someone new. And you never know what new people have in store for you.
Also, I want to mention this. Not that it should matter, but I know sometimes it does. Dating doesn't mean he's moved on. Whatever time he spent with this girl, whatever they did together, it doesn't mean he has *won*. I dated tons soon after my breakup. I met many attractive guys who seemed to have great things to offer--cute, smart, funny, whatever. And I had a good time on dates and spending time with them. But I was nowhere near over my ex, not even close!! But of course it's more important to be thinking about you right now, and work on being the best you possible, rather than think about what you're ex is doing or feeling.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2007
In reply to: lindseyloo3035
Thu, 05-31-2007 - 11:40am


Go on your date, don't think or talk about your ex, and have a good time.

It's been three months since my girl broke up with me and we were together for four years.
I still think about her a lot but I don't do much crying anymore. I do miss her, very much so, but I have to move forward. Going on dates is good. I also smile a lot to people....that helps, and a positive attitude.
Just keep thinking, you will meet someone better.

Rob