the pain we feel during the breakup
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the pain we feel during the breakup
| Wed, 11-16-2005 - 6:17pm |
May not be entirely about that particuliar break up. It can represent pain from childhood issues and old break ups. If you didn't resolve past hurts from love and experience a break up, all those old emotions unfold. What helps me so much is self talk to my inner child: "I am safe I am loved" heals and comforts. Positive affirmations help immensely.
I spent time with my therapist this week and my psychic consultant and thru work with them I could bring things together. It's been since Sept. 16th and there is still a roller coaster of emotions.
I like what someone said here: the only way out is through..SO TRUE...

I was glad to read your post because I have been talking to my therapist about this. But what I don't really understand is how to resolve this? For example, if you can pinpoint what the past hurt is--say, something from childhood--then what should you do? Just confront it and think about it? It seems like I am aware of the unresolved pain in my life, but I don't know how to make it stop hurting in the present. Am I just supposed to wait and let time heal? I know this is a complicated, personal issue, but I would appreciate your insight, if even in broad and general terms.
::For example, if you can pinpoint what the past hurt is--say, something from childhood--then what should you do?
I think it depends on what the issue is, but there are ways - venting, writing the person and UNSENT letter, letting the other person know you are angry and hurt, forgiving, knowing that parents are doing the best they can, they aren't perfect etc.
Someone once told me that their pain in the moment was the engine of a train and what they really wanted to get to was the Caboose - because that was the old issue that keeps hanging on and not going away, not being dealt with, that continues to effect our life as long as we aren't willing to address it and cut it loose.
Forgiveness – The Greatest Healer of All – Gerald G. Jampolsky MD
Carrie
For me, I can recall "stuff" from my childhood. I can pinpoint it and understand the emotions back then and how they resonate now. This sounds nutty but I actually have dialogues with my inner child. Sometimes when I am power walking or mostly in the shower..I talk to her..and hear what she says...and comfort her...To myself, I actually say this often when I am feeling anxious and scared:
I am loved I am safe
So when I am talking to my ex, sometimes the adult in me is calm and rational and gets offf the phone feeling ok. Even if the called was crummy. Othertimes the inner child is on the phone. I can feel my heart racing and my voice escalating and I rant and rant..after I feel unsettled and sick...so I learn to calm my self and say, ___(my name)..this is old stuff..I am safe I am loved..
It's work but the work has helped me TENFOLD...if I didn't have my prayers and affirmations who the heck KNOWS where I would be..