I think this could have been worked on together - taking time to see friends separately, bring passion back into the relationship and fall in love again, but you've already broken up.
Reading material to consider:
Relationship Rescue, Phil McGraw Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman Are You the One for Me? Barbara DeAngelis
Oh my god! I went through almost the exact same thing! I am not going to go through the nitty0gritty here, because I want some other advice too. I'll post the details after I write this, if you are interested. Basically, both in school, both crazy stressed, both only really hanging out right before bed, both totally in love. Anyway, our break up was the same and I have the same feelings. Like, right now is not a good time for us, and I (and maybe him too) have some issues I need to work on by myself. We also want to hang out as friends. Not sure how that will work out b/c we broke up yesterday, but boy do I want to be friends! Anyway, all my luck to you. You made a really brave decision and no matter what happens between you two down the road, real positive change will come for both of you. Feel free to get in touch with me if you need someone to talk/comiserate with.
That is a really hard thing, imagining your one and only with somebody else. It's a big fear of mine too, since we go to the same school, same building. Hopefully he won't get involved with anyone during the two months before we graduate. God knows I don't plan to.
Do you think you will be able to see other people? That could help, imagining yourself just casually dating someone else. I know, you are probably thinking "Never!"but at some point(even if it's a month from now) it might be healthy to entertain the option. At best, it will just prove to you that no one else is as good as your ex, and that will give you even more certainty that you two can work it out.
Here's my update: he made first contact! It was friendly and not weird at all, which is a good sign. Maybe we will be able to be friends, I was so scared that he was "just saying that" when he said he really wanted to be friends. We have class together tomorrow so hopefully that will go well too and then maybe we can start hanging out again.
I miss him sooooo much! But, I thought about it today, and I wouldn't get back together with him right now. That might change in a week or a month or six months, but I know that we broke up for a good reason and a lot of it was timing, which neither of us can fix right now.
Stay strong, lady! And keep me posted. It seems like kind of a rollercoaster doesn't it?
Welcome to the board devoted4life2007,
I think this could have been worked on together - taking time to see friends separately, bring passion back into the relationship and fall in love again, but you've already broken up.
Reading material to consider:
Relationship Rescue, Phil McGraw
Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman
Are You the One for Me? Barbara DeAngelis
Thank you for your suggestions.
I agree, it could have been worked on, but we ignored it til it got to the point where we couldn't ignore it anymore.
Basically, both in school, both crazy stressed, both only really hanging out right before bed, both totally in love.
Anyway, our break up was the same and I have the same feelings. Like, right now is not a good time for us, and I (and maybe him too) have some issues I need to work on by myself. We also want to hang out as friends. Not sure how that will work out b/c we broke up yesterday, but boy do I want to be friends!
Anyway, all my luck to you. You made a really brave decision and no matter what happens between you two down the road, real positive change will come for both of you.
Feel free to get in touch with me if you need someone to talk/comiserate with.
I would love to hear the details.
It always helps to have someone to talk to who can relate.
So certainly we can commiserate!
As an update, we did go out today.
He texted me this morning and asked if I would like to hang out today, I told him I would love to.
That is a really hard thing, imagining your one and only with somebody else. It's a big fear of mine too, since we go to the same school, same building. Hopefully he won't get involved with anyone during the two months before we graduate. God knows I don't plan to.
Do you think you will be able to see other people? That could help, imagining yourself just casually dating someone else. I know, you are probably thinking "Never!"but at some point(even if it's a month from now) it might be healthy to entertain the option. At best, it will just prove to you that no one else is as good as your ex, and that will give you even more certainty that you two can work it out.
Here's my update: he made first contact! It was friendly and not weird at all, which is a good sign. Maybe we will be able to be friends, I was so scared that he was "just saying that" when he said he really wanted to be friends. We have class together tomorrow so hopefully that will go well too and then maybe we can start hanging out again.
I miss him sooooo much! But, I thought about it today, and I wouldn't get back together with him right now. That might change in a week or a month or six months, but I know that we broke up for a good reason and a lot of it was timing, which neither of us can fix right now.
Stay strong, lady! And keep me posted. It seems like kind of a rollercoaster doesn't it?