Perfect Boyfriend Turned Weirdo?!! :-(

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2006
Perfect Boyfriend Turned Weirdo?!! :-(
5
Tue, 10-30-2007 - 7:02am

I broke up with my boyfriend a bit over a week ago, I’m 19 and he is 26. We were absolutely inseparable for 4 months (I know, not very long.. but everyone said it seemed like we had been together forever.)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2007
Tue, 10-30-2007 - 9:29am

I feel your pain.....


I understand the whole bf going weirdo! My ex broke up with me about 2 weeks ago and the day before he was planning our trip to the carribean and he was asking me what movies I wanted to see the following weekend, and then the next day he breaks up with me!!!!!!!!!!!! How weird is that? Believe me I have cried him an "ocean" because I was and still am in shock.


He and I were so good together, we were so happy and he even told me so the day before the break-up. His excuse was that he had a gut feeling that it wasn't going to work out and that I deserve someone better. I loved this man, and I trusted him, but now its so weird because I'm so angry that how can someone so "perfect" turn into a "weirdo"?


But in my case since we did say goodbye that night, I'm sticking to it. He hasn't contacted me, and yeah I do wonder everyday about him; "how is he doing?, does he miss me?" but bottom line with everything that I have heard, read, and talked the best solution is to just move on, and never contact him. Once it's over its over (and its so sad to say it).


My best friend once told me that people always expect a second chance, but they shouldn't because its just not fair and not right. I think I deserved a chance with my ex but he didn't want it and if he asked me for a second chance............ I would say no................


So, let him go and continue with your life, you're only 19 and there's plenty of fish out there! Sometimes we think that the best is what we have in front of us, but is it really? You have to ask yourself and be completely honest if this guy is the guy and will he not make you cry?


Many people can give you advice, but its up to you and only you if you want to change and move on.....


Take Care.


FloridianChic

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2005
Tue, 10-30-2007 - 10:54am

I'm sorry to say, but you were not in love with this guy. 4 mos. is not long enough to really know someone. You ask why he changed seemingly overnight? The answer is because you never really got to know the real him. Now you are seeing his fickle and immature ways. This is who he is, and if you ask me he's acting like a baby.


Also, you are 19. You have plenty of time. I am 29 I'm running out of time. Enjoy getting to know several different men at this stage in your life, don't hook your star exclusively

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 10-30-2007 - 2:13pm

Welcome to the board unigirl2,


This part from baalpriestess's reply: You ask why he changed seemingly overnight? The answer is because you never really got to know the real him. Now you are seeing his fickle and immature ways.


I totally agree with.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2006
Tue, 10-30-2007 - 7:52pm

couple things to point out here...to make you both feel better. :)

four months is NOT an indication someone is not in love. there is no time limit on love. love comes from within someone who can love, it's not an external thing with a clock on it.

secondly, at 29 you are not running out of time. if you are, i'm already out! i'm 38 and i feel it strongly, but i don't think i am either. again, we don't have a clock on love. we might on babies, but we can always adopt. there is no clock on love.

some small words of encouragement i hope, & hope you both feel better.

hugz.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Tue, 10-30-2007 - 9:02pm

I'd have to disagree with the time on love. The saying that those who fall into love easily fall out of love just as easily is very much true IMO. That's why there's a recommended non-exclusive friendship period where you get to know the person before committing and talk of the 'honeymoon' period. It's easy to 'love' someone when things are easy and you're both on your best behaviour. It's not so easy when he, say, forgets your dates or you're arguing like cats and dogs over things.

I see love as sort of short term vs. long term memory. You can either remember something in a blaze and forget it quickly or you can review it repeatedly at a slower pace and retain it. I daresay love is the same way. If you take the time to get to build up a loving relationship instead of burning through it, it's more likely to last.

cheers

- There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your