Phone call revealed something else...:(
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Phone call revealed something else...:(
| Thu, 03-02-2006 - 4:13pm |
Me and my new boyfriend dated for 2 months before we became official. Our exclusive relationship only lasted 1 week. I had felt a connection with him like no other. The problem was that his ex gf was still in his life. She has a new boyfriend and all, so I respected the fact that perhaps they where still friends. He's in the construction bussiness so he was workin on remodeling her Bathroom (seeing her everyday for a whole week). I recently broke up with him because just yesterday he received a phone call from her. And to my surprise, he didn't want to answer...when he finally did. He quietly walked away from my side and spoke to her silently. The thing that REALLY UPSET me was when he told me, to "Shh" like to shut up. I mean why would he say that? I was so upset that I remained quiet for about 20 minutes. We drove to a really nice area by the beach to have lunch and I told him that I had lost my appetite and to drop me off home. His smiles turned into frowns. I told him I rather remain friends and that there was no reason for him to tell me to basically "shut up" when he spoke to her. He had thought I was jealous at the fact that she had called overall. But in reality I was so upset because he had told me to "hushhh". She asked him over the phone, "Where are you" and he replied, "At lunch" she then said, "With yourself?" And he replied, "No, yeah you know with who". And then I don't know what she says after that but he laughingly tells her, "OOOOOK I GOT TO GO, BYYYEEEE!"....this convesation made me feel like I had absolutly no value. Couldn't he tell her that "I'm at lunch with my girlfriend?"...Instead after I tried to speak about this he just told me that "I don't know why I said that! I felt weird talkin to my ex girlfriend when my new girlfriend is right next to me"...I replied with, then "I'm not comfortable being exclusive." I asked him why she had called him and he replied "I don't know! I guess she wanted to see how I was doin, I hurt my thumb you know.." (yeah he did, 1 week ago) I was so upset @ this. Just talkin to him more revealed that perhaps he was anxious that if he ever had the slightlest chance that she'd come back, he'd run back. I also noticed he had really low self esteem and would tell me that I was soo pretty and I could get any man I wanted. I feel like perhaps he's not over his ex. He doesn't value me. And now I am heart broken. I feel like a rebound in a way despite our awesome connection. But I am afraid that if I would of stayed with him that he would of eventually hurt me in a worse way...this was just a convesation. Say it went even further? He also told me that this weekend he's going to have to be workin @ her house and that he might not be able to see me. I asked him that perhaps it would be best to see him during his lunch break. He replied that he feels weird telling her parents that he's gonna go on break with his (new) girlfriend because of the whole fact that he feels weird telling this to his ex's parents. He states that his ex's parents are very mexican traditional role and they cook a lot in which means that it would be hard to leave in a home where they make sure that your never hungry. I don't know how to take the whole eating lunch at her parents house. I feel like if she where to simply say, "Come back let's give it a shot" he'd run back in a heart beat. Is he tryin to give a good impression so hopefully their might be a chance? I'm upset. I don't have any value. Was I a rebound, did he sleep with me because he wanted to forget about her? I feel used, misused, and upset @ this man...did I do the right thing by breakin things off soon?
Sad,
Joslin
Sad,
Joslin

Others may disagree with me but I really do think you're overreacting. It's possible when he asked you to ssssh, it was just so he could hear what she was saying. And it's HIGHLY possible that when he said, "you know with who," he didn't HAVE to tell her it was his girlfriend because she knew already. Because he's talked about you before. That's a good thing. It's also a good thing that he didn't want to answer initially when she called. He tells you that you are so pretty and could have any man you wanted and you think he doesn't value you? You take him saying you're pretty as him having low self-esteem... It sounds to me like you aren't valuing yourself. Maybe you are so pretty and could have any man you wanted. Did you ever think of that? Or maybe he just thinks of you as absolutely stunningly beautiful and is thankful every day for having you. From what you posted, I really don't see evidence of him using you or you being a rebound. It all just doesn't add up...but maybe you're leaving something out?
Steph
HI MOM JOSLIN
I HOPE YOU DONT MIND IF I ASK YOU HOW LONG THEIR BEEN BROKE UP?
believed IT or not are story are kind a similar...its funny but its true. sometime if my bf cell start ringing..ofcourse its very usual for us (ladys) to try listening whos on the phone right....last wk my bf friends call he did same thing like your bf shhhh sign...oh gosh i start wondering why he need to do that for...i'm thinking maybe this is his exgf friend or what? and he doesnt want him to hear me...when he hang up the phone...i ask him why he need to do that for...i ask him are you embarrased that your with ME or what..."YOU KNOW THAT CRAZY THINKING".....
ofcourse they will deny...blahblah what the hell am i thinking...i'm thinking wrong..and he walks out..well i didnt fallowed him to continue the conversation..one thing you know he wants to go home..."drama"...but to tell you the truth i'm tared of arguments so ofcourse i told him maybe i'm wrong...maybe he made the wrong sign instead of saying hold on (coz we're talking before the phone ring)he shhh!! WELL ITS WEIRD and i told him that he hurts my feeling and i just want to be honest w/ him...he apologized to me and i accept it..also i ask for apology..
AND DONT THINK YOUR OVER REACTING COZ YOUR NOT....OFCOURSE YOU GET HURT AND YOU WANT HIM TO KNOW THAT...
SO WHAT HAPPEN NOW WITH YOU GUYS, YOU GUYS TOTALLY BROKE UP OR WHAT?
IF EVER WHY DONT YOU TALK TO HIM AND TELL HIM...WHATS ON YOUR MIND AND BE HONEST TO HIM AND LET EVERYTHING OUT AND HE NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND THAT...EVEN THEY SAY ITS OVER REACTING!!!
GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS YOU,,,LET ME KNOW WHAT HAPPEN!!