Pinning Badly
Find a Conversation
Pinning Badly
| Sun, 04-02-2006 - 5:59pm |
Hi everyone,
Im am pinning so badly over what I dont have anymore. I cant believe that he just left. That he could walk away , i keep hoping hell miss me and call but its been 12 days now and nothing. When I think that he's not going to call i get the urge to call him and tell him he's wrong that we are perfect together. We were so perfect together, everyone was so shocked to hear we broke up. And ppl keep telling me if its meant to be, it will be. But im having such a hard time concrentrating and getting it out of my head. Its all I think about all the time, him. And I got back and forth loving him being mad loving him being mad. This is such and ugly feeling, i just want him back and everything to be back to normal again.!

Pages
Carrie
P143, maybe I can help you with this. I am one of those foolish women who kept up contact with my Ex much longer than it was good for me. We were broken up, not seeing each other about two months and I continued to call him and e-mail him. I sent about 30 e-mails of all sorts describing my extreme hurt, my crying jags, my depression, my anger and rage, my disbelief, begging him to reconsider, asking him to consider counseling, predicting dire circumstances if he left me, and on and on.
You know where all that anguish got me? Just a slower recovery. He ignored most of my communication or sent cold cryptic replies. It not only was a disappointment, but it hurt way more than I was even hurting. It prolonged the agony.
So, maybe you can take the advice of all these wise ladies and save yourself more wallowing in the pain. If he wants to come back to you, like my Ex, he knows how to do it.
I am not sure how long you all have been broken up or how much effort you both have expended to mend your relationship. But I guess it boils down to the fact that if he is not willing to work toward restoring your relationship, then it is fruitless for you to stay in contact for that purpose.
And then, it becomes a question of if you can be friends right now. I think the consensus of this board has been that maybe that can happen in time, but at first and for a while, no contact is by far the best thing. Even though you are having no contact, he should understand that if he decides he wants to be with you 110%, then and only then should he contact you.
basically, i want to be mature and keep some dignity...but inside i am crumbling....i don't even know what to say to him...we are going to talk next week about this, and i need some words with what to say to him....i know he is going to push for us being friends, but i am the one who gets hurt by it, who keeps a hope there (by the way, i was the one who broke it off, but he was acting like such an ass, i feel like he drove me to it. now he is all sweet and caring again).
This is the dance many of us go through at the end. I know as well as anyone the hope that you have that if you just talk to him enough, he will decide to get back together. I did it for about four months.
I now know that after six years of being together and talking, there is nothing I can say to make him love me again. He decided about a year ago to exit. The only thing that really gets men's attention is action, which in this case I am referring to No Contact; actually, lack of action, lack of talk.
My Ex is still trying to remain in contact with me even though I am sure he is pursuing another woman. He wants to remain my friend. He just wants to have lunch with me! After 6 years of living with him! I turned him down flat.
I am even getting e-mails from his best friends. I have deleted them, too. I don't want to know even one iota of what is going on with him, through them.
I have made it clear to him that if he wants me back 110%, only then will I accept contact with him, and he knows what he has to do (show up with roses at my door). But strangely, the longer I go without contact, the more I am convinced I do not want him back, he is wrong for me, and I would probably shove the roses down his throat.
I am on day 10 of No Contact. It is hard, but is the only thing that is making me feel good about myself now. I put myself through four months' of pain trying to communicate with him. Take it from me and all the other good folks on this board, NC is the only way to minimize your pain.
Pages