please help!
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| Sun, 03-02-2008 - 11:38am |
I need some help and support maybe by someone who has gone through this. I have been either dating or in a serious relationship with this guy for 5 years.He had a TON of problems and I helped him and stood by him through it all. He moved three hours away from our hometown with me over a year ago because I wanted to go to grad school. We planned a whole future here together- in our new apartment and new location. He was abusive and had a lot of issues and got help for them. He has been doing much better over the last 6 months and it seems like the better he did, the less he wanted to do with me. I believed him each time he told me he would treat me better, pitch in more around the house, take me out, etc. I found out a month ago that he cheated on me. He assured me it was a one-time encounter and was no longer speaking to the girl at all. I found out on our phone bill that he had been talking to her and texting her hundreds of times a day. When I confronted him he did not come home for 24 hours and could not be reached. WHen he came home, he said he wanted to break up. Then he said he didnt love this other girl- he loved me and wanted to be with me. He did this back and forth for the last couple of weeks. Finally, he said I can not do this to you anymore. You will get what you need and I will start trying from now on. We went out on Saturday and spent the whole day and night together. We had fun. Toward the end of our "date", he started doing things on his phone, secretively. I accused him of texting her and then I got a message on my phone saying "love you". I relaxed and thought maybe he really finally is trying and saw how much he hurt me. We went home and watched a movie. As soon as the credits went up, he put on his jacket and left to "take a drive alone to think." ???? He called her the second he left the house, came back and broke up with me AGAIN. Now he won't talk to me, listen to me, or anything. He said that she "opened his eyes" to who I really am, but in the next breath says this has nothing to do with her and he doesn't even like her.
I am so heartbroken and confused. I am going to go home to my hometown for a few days to be with my family and friends, but I dont know what to do. Is he going to keep doing this? How do I stop it? What do I do if we do break up permanently- we live together, share expenses, etc.?
Please help! Thanks!
Liz

Welcome to the board bballsweety32,
::Is he going to keep doing this?
I'd listen to Carrie's advice, it's very good and very sound.