please help

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2007
please help
5
Fri, 09-21-2007 - 12:06am
I'm desperate to find out if I'm right or he is. We were having a rough time in our relationship and decided to break it off because we couldn't take it, a vacation cruise was coming up where we were going with two friends I work with. We decided we would still go on the cruise as friends and he decided to cancel on me a week before, obviously I
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2007
In reply to: yanet227
Fri, 09-21-2007 - 10:50am

Hi yanet227 -

I am so sure a majority of the people here will disagree with me. I'm probably very old fashioned because I can side with your boyfriend in this situation. Yes you were single and broken up and kissing is allowed. But you were fresh out of a relationship where you deeply cared about your boyfriend, and a week later you're kissing someone else. The action was almost a contradiction of your feelings.
His point of view probably consists of the fact that he truly loved you and was sad it didn't work out, and hoped that you were sad too, sad enough to think about him and not kiss someone else. He's hurt cause he was thinking about you a whole lot and the thought of kissing someone else didn't cross his mind. He just thought about you. And he's hurt cause he felt you weren't thinking about him.

My opinion. I think what you did was totally allowed but I would probably react like your boy did.
But I definitely would not break up with you over it or ignore you.
When you're single you have the freedom to do whatever and to make any choice you want. I think your boy was hurt that you desired to make that choice of kissing another guy when you claimed to have loved your guy. Even though you're free and single doesnt mean other people won't be affected by your actions.

If you get a chance to talk with him, tell him how you feel.
Just understand a little of where he's coming from. Then hopefully he'll understand your point of view as well. It happened to me, my bf (at the time) did what you did and I was hurt for a while, but I understood, and I realized I really didn't have as much right to get mad at him..

Good luck!

:)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2006
In reply to: yanet227
Fri, 09-21-2007 - 4:28pm
My philosophy is, " If you're not together, you are free to do whatever you want."
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2006
In reply to: yanet227
Fri, 09-21-2007 - 5:13pm

hi,


why did you tell your bf about the kiss?


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: yanet227
Fri, 09-21-2007 - 6:44pm

Welcome to the board yanet227,


I have the same question, though it's moot now, why would you tell him you kissed someone when clearly the two of you were broken up?


As long as he's ignoring you, there isn't anything you can do about this situation.





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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2007
In reply to: yanet227
Fri, 09-21-2007 - 9:11pm
Honestly I don't know why I said anything, I really shouldn't have. I understand he's hurt and I was drunk but at the end of the day we were still broken up. Thank you all for the help.