please help

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2007
please help
4
Fri, 08-17-2007 - 3:14pm

Hi before you read my problem i understand this site is for woman but I could not find any other sites that would help me on this problem and as you all are ladies
you will probs be able to help me more which i hope you can and thanks for reading....

I had been going out with my girlfreind for 5 months. she is nearly 19 and im 22 and a few weeks ago out of the blue she said that although she loves and cares for me loads , she feels she wants to live her teen years again as in go down town 3-4 nights a week, have a dance a flirt cos thats what most teenagers do. right? But She wasnt sure if it was just a phase so we decided to go on a 2 week break so she can find out if town life is what she wants.

Anyways 4 days into the break i was feeling really down. not sleeping and not eating much.
so on the 5th night i met up and told her i cant carry on the break and that i wanted to no where i stand. So we decided to call it a day. we were obviously upset and she told me that she loved me always and that i shouldn't forget that.
Anyways i really want her back, I miss her so much but I haven't told her this cos i dont want to become in between her feelings or make her feel guilty.
her best m8 split up with her b/f a few weeks ago as well and i get the feeling her best m8 has put her in an awkward position asking her to go out all the time.
anyways its been 3 weeks today since we split and i still miss and love her loads, ive seen her a few times but not much as we are letting things cool down. she said she's really enjoying the single life but she keeps saying it like she has to prove it and my mates have seen her down town a few times looking upset and miserable. she dosent really talk much when i see her probs cos she feels awkward. do you think I should move on and see mnaybe in a couple of months she we might get back together or should i tell her im finding it hard after 3 weeks is their any chance of us getting back together? PLEASE HELP

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: craigt567
Fri, 08-17-2007 - 6:29pm

Welcome to the board craigt567,


Sorry you are going through this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
In reply to: craigt567
Fri, 08-17-2007 - 9:27pm

Well, one thing comes to mind

"people who don't know what they want, usually don't deserve what they have"

I don't think a 4 day break is really that long. It's hardly enough time to find yourself.

In any case, I was 19 once too, and we all learn sooner or later that getting your 'flirt on' and going out to town every night gets old really fast unless your name is Paris Hilton.

In any case, instead of acting cool and disinterested, why not try filling your time with other interests? Take up another hobby..learn spanish or a new sport. When your interests start to turn away from her to other things, you won't have to ACT dis-interested...you will BE disinterested. And like Carrie said, chances are when she sees your attentions are elsewhere, she'll come around

cheers
Susanna

- There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2007
In reply to: craigt567
Sat, 08-18-2007 - 5:25am
Hi thankyou for the advice. I agree with it actually like ive told people i want to give her a chance to realise she has lost me for good. ive had to see her every friday though for the last 3 weeks cos she owed me some money for the holliday and she is paying me back every week , next friday she will pay it off. but i will get my sister to pick it up so then its less contact, its also her birthday typical so i will post her card and have little contact, i dont mean to sound hasty but like you say less contact will probs show that she is losing me. Last week i told her that even though im moving on and getting on with my life i do miss her times. Bit im glad i put the moving on and getting on with my life bit in' anyways thanks for the advice its helped my mind a little :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: craigt567
Sat, 08-18-2007 - 9:06pm

Hi,

So sorry you are feeling down. I'd read the post on the board "how to get over a breakup." A lot of good advise there.

Hang in and start doing things for yourself.