please help-i am so miserable
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please help-i am so miserable
| Sat, 03-18-2006 - 11:38pm |
hello
I would be grateful is some of you could write me back because I cant sleep, cant eat, cant go out (7 days), cant work and I dont know what to do about it!
I know this may sound trivial but I met this guy about 3 months ago who was very keen on me and we had this great relationship. We went on vacation together, there were never any issues and I was trying to take things slower than him. Then suddenly out of the blue he started taking some distance. he claimed that he was not hoooked. I suggested to call it quits but he said let s give it a week.that was last week and it was hell, he grew more distant, stopped calling, emailing etc. and I fell realy down. so on friday i wrote him an email saying how much I liked him, how much I would have liked to give it a chance but this is a one way move and it takes two, so i dont blame him for anything just wish him the best and that we should stop seeing each others. he replied saying that he agrees that he grew more distant and it is because he did not see any afuure to our relationship without any future damage!! he asked me to call him anytime and that whether we could remain friends. I did not reply, erased all his emails, his number from my phone, everything etc. But I am feeling so donw and miserable. I really cant function properly, I dont understand what happened, I cant blame myself for anything and it hurts like hell especially that I went thourgh a very tough break up 6 months ago and a divorce previously to that (but in both cases I had done something wrong so at least I knew why!!!).
please, if any of you has any thoughts on this it would be really nice to get a reply as I feel really lonely and I dont know what to do at least to keep going work wise and not lose everything.
thanks to all of you who may respond!
I would be grateful is some of you could write me back because I cant sleep, cant eat, cant go out (7 days), cant work and I dont know what to do about it!
I know this may sound trivial but I met this guy about 3 months ago who was very keen on me and we had this great relationship. We went on vacation together, there were never any issues and I was trying to take things slower than him. Then suddenly out of the blue he started taking some distance. he claimed that he was not hoooked. I suggested to call it quits but he said let s give it a week.that was last week and it was hell, he grew more distant, stopped calling, emailing etc. and I fell realy down. so on friday i wrote him an email saying how much I liked him, how much I would have liked to give it a chance but this is a one way move and it takes two, so i dont blame him for anything just wish him the best and that we should stop seeing each others. he replied saying that he agrees that he grew more distant and it is because he did not see any afuure to our relationship without any future damage!! he asked me to call him anytime and that whether we could remain friends. I did not reply, erased all his emails, his number from my phone, everything etc. But I am feeling so donw and miserable. I really cant function properly, I dont understand what happened, I cant blame myself for anything and it hurts like hell especially that I went thourgh a very tough break up 6 months ago and a divorce previously to that (but in both cases I had done something wrong so at least I knew why!!!).
please, if any of you has any thoughts on this it would be really nice to get a reply as I feel really lonely and I dont know what to do at least to keep going work wise and not lose everything.
thanks to all of you who may respond!

I have broken up wih him by email on friday. a nice email not blaming him for anything but telling him that we should not see each others anymore. He replied asking me to call him anytime and whether we can stay friends. I did not reply to his email, erased his number from my phone and his email address. I was never a pursuer, begging person etc. I know that does not work. that s why I am suffering in silence and that's why it is so helpful to get replies from people like you.
in his reply to my break up email he said " i can see no future to our relationship without future damage". will never know what it means. it just hurts because it is so sudden, like something hitting you on the head when everything was fine. he even asked me why i never brought up any issues,my answer was: because I was happy, there were no issues!!! anyway, thnaks a million for your response. I really really appreciate it because I am hurting so much. hugs!
Hi Greenflower,
Boy, do I know how you feel. How I wish I was there to give you a hug in person. My ex and I broke up a week ago tomorrow. I completely understand "not being able to function". I stayed home from work for a couple of days (would have been more if I could have afforded to), couldn't eat, all I wanted to do was stay in bed, and I cried and cried like someone had ripped my soul out. We were only going out for three weeks, but boy, for some reason it hurt me a million times worse than my divorce, where I was with my husband for 8 years (married 3 of them). I think because, like you said, I had no issues. I was very happy, and I thought he was too. But after three weeks, he said he "didn't feel any love feelings developing" (???) not only is that way too soon to know that, but literally HOURS before that he told me he wasn't going anywhere (something he was ALWAYS telling me), he was so happy, I was the thing in his life he could look forward too, etc. etc. Never have I had my heart shattered into so many pieces. A thought of him, his voice, his laugh, his smell, places we went, would stop me in my tracks and I would have to stop and let the wave of pain rush over me; it would literally take my breath away, I hurt SO BAD. I am just starting to sloowwwllly climb out, but I still miss him terribly and have unanswered questions. The worst part is, he is horribly insecure for reasons beyond his control, and in rethinking things I think he broke things off because he felt he wasn't good enough. So, as far as no contact, I can't tell if he is not calling because he really doesn't want to, or he's not calling because he thinks I don't want him to and I would be "better off". So then I think should I call? He may be thrilled to have reassurance from me. I wish I knew!!!
I really thought this was the end of me, and I am definitely very far from "healed". But after the first few days, I am getting a tiny bit stronger each day. You will too!! I know you will!! I will send positive thoughts and energy to you. I know it's hard to believe, I didn't want to hear it, but it WILL happen. We will both come out on top.
Love and a million hugs,
Karen
hey,
(((HUGS))) to you ...
your post hit me on a familiar note .. i too, am going through a similar situation ..
ive been dating this guy for two months now, and we just finished things this past week. it wasnt a PERFECT relationship, and i wasnt in LOVE with him (in fact, several things about him buggggged me!).. but we had great chemistry, we were comfortable, i felt close to him, and really believed that he was into me ..
im not even sure how we ended up broken up .. actually, i dont have a clue at all .. but irregardless of the why's - its just over..
im just taken back by how surprisingly upset i am over this .. i really didnt think it had such an effect on me.. but since the breakup, ive found myself obsessing over it, upset by it, and longing for the way things used to be ...
but, ive been through two of the world's worse breakups .. one was with a bad bf who had mistreated me but i was attached to .. and another was with the love of my life .. and, ive managed to survive both and have come a looooooong distance since ... so im sure you and i will both get over this blip!
take care,
eeksj
thank you for your post. it is excatly the same situation.
i dnt know hwy i am so upset. i tried to go to work but had to come back home, I did not wnat everyone t see me crying. i dont know what hapened. will never know and worst of all dont know how to get through this. I am really down, so thank you for your post.
i cant sleep, cant eat, trying hard but it is hell. thank you so much for being there!
hugs!
Im there with you, girl.. and if you want to talk more.. please email me..
gothicmedea@hotmail.com
I am going through the same thing right now...god, I am lost.