Please Help - Major Setback, Need Advice
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| Fri, 10-07-2005 - 1:36pm |
Hi everyone,
Some of you may remember me, i've written here before. But here's the situation to sum it up VERY quickly...
I was with my ex for 8 months. During the first few months everything was perfect. He treated me like a princess, even talked about getting a house together and getting married. Then he admitted to me that he had a painkiller addiction. He also smoked a lot of pot.
Anyway, long story short, while he was kicking the pill addiction, there was about 2-3 months where he didn't want anything to do with me physically. He blamed the new medicine that was helping him get off the pills, but I dont buy that. I spoke to many people who kicked this habit the same way and they said it does not affect your sex life.
Everything was going down the tubes with us. He said we needed to spend less time together. Then a few weeks later he told me the spark is gone between us. To make a long story short, we broke up. I've been trying to get over it and i'm still having a very hard time. I know that he isn't because even though he said to me he doesn't want to be with anyone right now, I know for a fact that he's dating other girls already. He's also clean from the pills and the pot now.
It's been 2 ½ months since we've last seen each other and I was doing fine and finally getting over things, when last night I saw him again. It's VERY DIFFICULT to get over this also because we live literally around the block from each other, and also work on the same street so I see him on the road all the time. That makes it worse. Anyway, why is it that he doesn't want a girlfriend, he wants to date all these girls casually, but when it comes to me, the one person he supposedly wanted to marry and couldn't live without, he wants nothing to do with me in that way. Just friendship, which I can't do because my feelings are too strong for him. It just seems so unfair that I stood by him during the worst part of his life, and when he finally gets better, it's goodbye to me.
Anyway, sorry for the vent, and any advice would be appreciated.
Thanks
Jacki

Jacki,
I'm sorry to hear about your situation and would definitely advise a move if you don't see some improvement in your own outlook soon. As to why he would treat you this way after you helped him, I've heard that sometimes when people go through traumatic situations (rehab, divorce, etc.) sometimes they don't want reminders of that time once they're through with it. Which is incredibly cruel, I mean, what is the message there? We shouldn't help anyone who needs us? But back to your dilemma: this guy sounds seriously messed up and is no prize for anyone, least of all you. Even if you can't move, just keep moving on and one day I promise you'll look back on this and say, "What was I thinking?" Meanwhile, in all likelihood, he'll still be a complete mess. Keep rising above it - you are cut out for better things, just don't let yourself forget it.
Pix