please help me move forward

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2007
please help me move forward
3
Sat, 03-24-2007 - 1:20pm

Hello everyone,

I am new to this board and have found the postings to be very helpful.

I would like your input and help in a mess that I am in. I met a man through a dating service and dated him for about a year. On our last date he tried to rape me (I have held off sexual intercourse due to moral beliefs). I did not tell anyone because I was so ashamed and hurt of what happened. I sought counseling, thought, because I had become so depressed, couldn't work, eat, or sleep.

In my rage over what happened, I put out internet postings of what he did, what kind of low life person he is, and now he is suing me for defamation. I also found out that he is married the whole time we were dating, and that many things he told me were all lies and manipulations.

I have a legal team now, to defend me and to sue him for sexual assault. I feel so victimized by him, and I want to help myself, to become whole again, and to feel like a woman again. Any helpful advice?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Sat, 03-24-2007 - 1:59pm

You've done what you have to do in order to put that rapist behind bars. You've done counseling as well. However, you still feel like a victim....you're a survivor, stronger than the beast who tried to rape you. You exposed him before society, his wife and friends. You win.

To move forward, think it the other way...he tried to rape you, but he couldn't. He is the one before the law and available to be put in jail.

If you need moe counseling please get it. Life is harder after a rape or an attempted rape. It's up to you to overcome the effects of it and take control of your life again. The fear could be paralyzing. You'll be definitely more wary of dating online and in real life. Take a self-defense class too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2006
Sat, 03-24-2007 - 4:11pm
(((Hugs))) I'm so sorry you had to go through this. I think that there is a board for victims of sexual abuse, and it'd probably be very helpful to you.
You have nothing to be ashamed of, HE does!!! And he will pay. This certainly cannot be helping his marriage, and he's an idiot for suing YOU for anything. This will backfire on him. You sound like a sweet, good hearted WOMAN, and there's not a man in the world who can take that away from you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sat, 03-24-2007 - 4:23pm

Welcome to the board watertrickle.


Thankfully you are in counseling. I hope you continue to go.