Please help me tonight

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2006
Please help me tonight
3
Sat, 02-23-2008 - 7:44pm
Hi everyone I broke up with my boyfriend of several (5) years very recently. I know it was the right thing to break up because all we did was fight and he was treating me like garbage... lying, probably cheating, yelling at me and making me feel bad about myself. We broke up about a month ago and it felt good I felt free! But we ended up getting BACK together. Last Sunday we got into a huge fight and I ended it again. We haven't spoken since last Sunday. I felt good all week. I KNOW this is the right thing for me. I KNOW I will never marry this man and will never have a future with him. He doesn't have a job or a place to live and I'm in grad school, with my own apartment. I have a bright future and he does not. Rationally I know I cannot and should not be with him. Tonight I am a mess! I want to call him so bad. I'm sad and crying. Please someone tell me NOT to call him! I'm doing the right thing already, I called two girlfriends and I'm waiting for them to come get me to take me to dinner. I am leaving my cell phone at home. Hopefully by the time I get back the urge to call will have passed. If not please someone tell me not to? I need support. :(
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sat, 02-23-2008 - 7:57pm

Hi sassy1184,


While you are waiting for your friends, consider writing out what you want to say to him AND how you think the conversation will go.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2008
Sat, 02-23-2008 - 8:05pm
hey.. i feel your pain. while i didnt date my ex as long as you did yours, our exs sound almost exactly the same. im in school pursuing a law degree. he smokes weed, has no job, JUST started school again (at the age of almost 22) and is taking college prep classes with no enthusiasm, and all we did was fight. the bad outweighed the good times and i let him go. then i got back with him again after he SWORE it would change. of course it didnt and my heart got broken all over again when i ended it again. i made the mistake of calling the other night.. bad bad bad idea. it didnt help. it made me cry even more. and all i have been doing ever since is obsessing over the call. DONT DO IT! be strong. delete his number (even tho we have it memorized it takes more effort to punch in a bunch of numbers instead of just speed dialing it..) turn your phone off (super hard i know but it helps even if you can do it for a half hr or so!)! after dinner with the girls maybe see a movie so you cant use your phone. or have an early night with your phone far away. its super hard to accept that the guy isnt good enough for you (like mine isnt for me..) and i know how hard it is to let go.. but we did what was right for US and WE deserve better than some loser who cant get his life together to be in ours. just keep telling yourself that you deserve to be happy. its ok to be upset because i am too... but i know i did the right thing by ending it with my ex.. and it sounds like you did too. in the meantime, you have your friends that love you.. you dont need to hear his stupid voice. be strong!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2008
Sat, 02-23-2008 - 8:49pm
Lots of grieving souls. I feel the same way too. Iam past the anger. When we broke I cried for a while,