PLEASE, I NEED HELP AGAIN
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PLEASE, I NEED HELP AGAIN
| Sat, 09-04-2004 - 10:37pm |
I don't know if you all remember me but I wrote in a month ago asking for help. I thought I was cured but I'm in a jam again. I was so embarrassed that I erased the post after you ladies gave me some wonderful advice. Anyway, to make a long story short, I have been dating a guy from Nigeria for two years. We met online but have not met in person yet. I asked me to marry him and I agreed. Then he began to make plans to marry me and get things ready but then he said his job closed down and then his bank. He was very depressed and I began giving him all of the money I had for two years because I felt sorry for him. Recently I started having doubts about him. I found child porn in his inbox, and over 200 credit card numbers from persons all over America. I asked him about all of this but he said that he and his friend shares that email address and it's not his. I was advised by some ladies here to leave him. I did what you all told me to do. I closed down my email address, changed my phone number, etc. It was painful when I left him at first and then I began healing. I felt better and great about my decision and I was moving on with my life and even getting happy. But two days ago he sent me some very expensive roses and my heart just melted. Before I knew it, I had called him and one thing led to another and now we are back together. My mother is VERY upset about this and wants me to cut ties with him but it seems like no one in the world understands how much I love him. I know he has some bad ways but I can't stop loving him and I don't know why. I have been asked out by other guys but I only want him. Believe me when I say I have been trying so hard to break away from this man. My friends say he is just using me and does not plan to ever come to America but I'm not sure. I know in the back of my mind this is not healthy but I just can't stay away from him. I feel good inside when I'm with him and he is there for me anytime I need him. He had helped me so much. Does anyone here know what I should do? If you believe I should stay away from him, can you tell me how I can do so. I have bad withdrawals when I'm away from him and I desperately need help. Thank you all for your wonderful help the first time and I hope you can help this time.

Also, you have not met this guy in person. Do you really want to marry someone who you have so physical connection with? For all you know, he could be a woman! To really know and love someone... you need to experience life with them... not just chat with them online.
One more thing that I have learned thoughout life is that mothers are always right. If your mom does not approve of this guy... then he probably is not right.
My advice: go back to the no contact. Find things and people that are in the same country as you. There are so many things that life has to offer... you can't waste any more time on something that is not going anywhere.
Stay strong... I have faith in you.
No contact is difficult but necessary. Tell him to leave you alone. If he sends roses, throw them away. Change your email address, phone number etc. You are in a vulnerable position while you still feel an emotional tie to this person... please protect yourself and have no contact with this person. You deserve a healthy love and respect... not a possible con artist...
I hope this wasn't too harsh, but your post truly concerns me... take care of YOU and be safe... hugs...
You are very lucky until now because you haven't made any serious mistake yet. A man from Nigeria?, with child pornography in his mail?, with credit card numbers?...you don't have to be a genius to realise that this man only represents problems.
If the police catches him and finds your email address in his account then you will be in really serious problems with the law.
Iliana