Please... I need some support...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2006
Please... I need some support...
7
Tue, 01-15-2008 - 4:45pm
Hey everyone. I just broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years this morning. I know I made the right decision but I'm very sad right now. In the beginning our relationship was fantastic. I was 18 when we met, he was 22 and we were both in college. He was so sweet to me, we spent every night together and everything was great. Fast forward 4 (and a half) years and I am 23, in graduate school and living on my own. He is 26 and works as a waiter and lives with his parents. He doesn't want to spend time with me anymore he would rather go drink with his friends and whoever else. He has no ambition in life. I want to get married, have children and be happy. With him I know I'll never have that. We always fight and I'm sick of crying over him and him making me feel bad about myself. He accuses me of cheating (which I'm not) but I suspect him of cheating on me. Basically he's a jerk. He has a job but not a career, he has no savings and he is still living with his parents at his age. On top of all that I think he's cheating on me, I KNOW he lies to me and all he does is drink. Whenever we fight he twists everything around so its my fault and curses at me and calls me names. I can do better right? You bet I can! I'm 23 years old with a promising future in my field. I know I deserve better. I have been miserable for probably 2 years now. I feel sad but relieved. I know I'm rambling on and maybe not making any sense but basically I just want someone to either tell me they've been where I am and after the breakup they felt better or I just want someone to me I did the right thing and I deserve better. Thanks for reading and keep your chins up ladies we'll get through this!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2007
Tue, 01-15-2008 - 4:58pm

Awww!


You did the right thing. Breaking up IS hard to do. But, it seems to me like you have a very strong future and he is just dragging you down. Wouldn't you want to be in a relationship where both partners grow together? And would you want to be in a relationship where both couples can't even trust each other because you guys think that you're cheating?


YOU DID the right thing and you should be happy. Don't you feel as though a burden has just lifted off of your shoulders? Anyways, good luck!


Nina

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2007
Tue, 01-15-2008 - 5:01pm
Well you are halfway there,
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
Tue, 01-15-2008 - 5:42pm

Sassy


I am with you!!!! I just ended a 3 year relationship, we were together since HS. Basically he had a ONS early into college, we tried to reconcile and he really did everything he could to show me what a mistake he had made. But then I started noticing other things- like you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 01-15-2008 - 8:31pm

Welcome to the board sassy1184,


You did the right thing and you deserve better!! ;)


At the end of any relationship there is grief to process.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2008
Tue, 01-15-2008 - 9:26pm
sassy, i wish i was as strong as you. my situation is very similar to yours except that he dumped me. we are both 27, i graduated from grad school and have a respectable job. he worked as a credit card collector with no ambition to go back to school or anything. he has a band and that was pretty much his main focus in life. a couple weeks ago we got in a huge fight, he took off back to our hometown to stay with his mom. everytime he'd get mad when we lived in our hometown he'd run to his mom's house for a week or two. then i'd beg him back and he'd come. this time is different, he left and just quit his job to run back to his mom because things got tough with our relationship. now i'm left here alone being sad and missing him so much. i know that i could do better than him, but it really hasnt gotten through my head yet.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2007
Tue, 01-15-2008 - 10:18pm
Very proud of you for doing the right thing. Keep telling yourself that you deserve--and will find--better.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2007
Wed, 01-16-2008 - 1:37am

only you know what's best for you. and i'm glad that you had the strength to pursue it, rather than stick around. you protected and stood up for yourself. although i know it'll hurt like h*ll for awhile, be proud of yourself for

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