Please read :( My story..

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2007
Please read :( My story..
4
Thu, 02-08-2007 - 9:15pm

Its been just over one month since the break up. I havent seen him, heard him. But we`ve e mailed a few times. Nothing to intense. Usually about school or work. The first few times was about what went wrong, what happend..When it started to fall apart. I got into another relationship, pretty much as soon as the other one ended. I never grieved about the break up. I just covered it with more problems, with another guy. I cant listen to slow songs, because it makes me want to cry about him and the break up. And I never wanted to do that. I wanted to ignore the pain, and just forget about it, and move on without grieving about it. And it worked. I never once cried about it in the last month. Never thought about the relationship..I just kept my mind focused on the new relationship. It seemed to work. But I was watching a show today, my favorite one. And they were in love, but they couldnt be together because of complications. And it made me miss him so much, that I tore open the old wounds, and cried. I took out his old clothes, and the stuffed animals, and the poems...And I just surrounded myself with him..I just cried non stop. It feels like it just happend. Like the month hasnt passed. Like there is no other guy. I truely believed I was over him. That I didnt love him anymore. But maybe I was just fooling myself. It was all part of my charade. But who was I trying to fool? Him? myself? I got good at pretending, when I talked to him, all I talked about was the new boyfriend, to make him believe everything was okay. And I bragged to all my friends about the new guy, so that they would see me happy too...But then late into the night I would want to think about him, I would want to cry...But I wouldnt let myself, I wouldnt allow myself the satisfaction of releasing my feelings....That was probably a horrible thing to do. And now its all coming out. I dont know what to do, I dont want to be alone right now, theres noone to talk to because all my friends dont know..They are all fooled by my charade...

Please respond. Help me through this. Its a little late to be grieving. But I wouldnt let myself until now....And now I just cant stop...I dont know what to do. The last month is a blur, and now im scared and lost...Please respond.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 02-08-2007 - 10:52pm

Hi angel,


Welcome to the board and know you aren't alone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2006
Fri, 02-09-2007 - 7:22am

It's not too late to be grieving -- allow yourself to do it and tell your friends about it...start to open up and share...feel the feelings and let it happen.

Susan

"Success is building a foundation wit

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2007
Sat, 02-10-2007 - 8:38am

I am right there with you. I did some crying when we broke up 6wks ago but then put on a good game face and tried to go on my merry way. I've been doing pretty well until last night (see todays post "I'm gonna freak out"-- that's me.

I of course couldn't sleep and was awake from then on and still am with a know in my stomach. I just want him to go and never come back. That'll be hard though b/c he is still paying some of the rent while he stays at a friends house.

I have been talking to a new guy myself. He's real nice and I knew him a little bit in high school (17 yrs ago). He lives back in my home town and I'm in OH but am looking to move back there ASAP as soon as I find a job. I am sort of afraid to leave here though b/c I feel like I'm walking away--I guess I need to though.

Feel free to write me anytime, I can vent with the best of them :~)

Keep your chin up and we'll make it

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2006
Sat, 02-10-2007 - 10:09am

I think the best way to get over someone that you loved is NOT to jump into another relationship because those are rebounds and they don't work BUT to concentrate on healing yourself which means concentrating on noone but YOU. There are a lot of people out there who can't be alone because of certain insecurties they have and seeking professional help is always an option. Crying is the best thing after a breakup because you are letting out emotions that are being kept inside and that is never healthy. Your breakup just happened a month ago and you are going through the most painful time. My ex did the disappearing act last year over Father's Day weekend and the best thing I did for myself was to cry a lot, surround myself with my friends and family and tell them the truth of the pain I am going through, and I actually spent time alone which was hard at first but made me a much stronger person. Whatever you decide to do, I wish you the best and the only way to heal is NC from the ex and make sure your are okay emotionally before jumping into another relationship.

Good Luck.