Please tell me I am better off

Avatar for irishblondy
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-04-2003
Please tell me I am better off
1
Sat, 11-13-2004 - 8:10pm
I am new here but just thought maybe this would help me deal with what is going on in my head!

Here is a quick run down of what happened. I am in the military and stationed in Mass., my time in the military is up in Dec and all my family is in So. Cali. I had been dating a guy for awhile and moved in with him, we got a dog and I had decided to stay in Mass for him. Well my mom got really sick and was in the hospital, when I decided I needed to go home and visit her my boyfriend treated me like crap and was very mad I was going home. He was always the jealous type, didn't like me hanging out with my friends and stuff like that. So he especially didn't like me going to Cali with out him there, even though he wouldnt go. Had no desire to ever go there with me, which really hurt. So when I got back to Mass after the visit and finding out my grandfather was only given 4-5 months to live cuz of cancer, the relationship just kinda hit the fan. I knew deep down I had to go back to Cali to be with my family. Well he accused me of having a boyfriend in Cali and cheating on him. Which wasn't true. So we ended things. It got really bad to where he ruined my furniture, took the dog from me and wouldn't let me see him at all. I was good for about a month after, but now I am missing him like crazy and thinking about the good times we had. Wondering if he misses me and "us". I don't know someone just please say something to get me through this and make me realize I am better off!

Oh yeah and he is calling me now wanting to have sex. How do I not give into him and my feelings I am having right now?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Sat, 11-13-2004 - 10:25pm
No way! Do not have sex with this guy ... please don't! He sounds like a complete selfish jerk who doesn't care about anyone but himself! I'm sorry if that's harsh, but the fact that he got angry at your for going home to be with your sick mother is the first giveaway this guy is a total creep! Someone who loves you will be supportive of your decision to go be with your mother and be there for YOU. Not accuse you of cheating and become jealous. It sounds like he is insecure and almost controlling and this is not a healthy relationship at all. Please be careful, because it worries me that this guy sounds like someone who is doing you way more damage than any good. You are so much better off without this guy .. and I hope that you do stay away from him. Of course, it will be hard and take some time, but you gotta do what's right for you - not him. Keep in touch how you are doing. Take care and good luck.

Lynne