PMS, Depressed & didn't send a letter!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
PMS, Depressed & didn't send a letter!
Tue, 03-13-2007 - 5:35pm

HI Everyone,

Well, you all know my story, and today is just another day of it. I think I'm depressed, thinking of him a lot today and just feel like crying. Maybe it's just PMS but UGH tough day! Also, in particular Tuesdays & Fridays were days I'd see him in out relationship...Sooo..its Tuesday. I've been trying to work through things. No Contact day #17, but it's tough not to sometimes! I drafted an e-mail and sent it - to MYSELF. It read as follows:
~~
It's pretty simple. I miss my friend. Of course I've missed my boyfriend too but that part of us is over & I'm taking steps & moving forward, but it doesn't change the fact that deep down inside, I still care for you & those feelings aren't easy to just forget. I don't think anything could change that, not anger, not hurt, not anything because how I felt for you was unconditional & genuine, those feelings stayed through the good & bad times. We spent a year together, that was awhile to just suddenly go into the next year and not think of where we were this time last year, remembering what we were doing,and just forget it all. I told myself I'd continue as I have been without you in my life anymore....it's not the same though because you were an important part of my life and just because you didn't love me the same way in return or because we didn't stay together, doesn't mean I wanted to lose you in every way. Who knows what each of our lives will bring us in the future, or that if we would even continue to communicate with each other after a while but I know that for right now, never seeing you again doesn't seem to fit? Maybe all of this makes sense to you, maybe it doesn't? I have no idea with how we left things with each other or what you think or feel towards me because we went through a lot of tough things for weeks, said & did things and it wasn't an easy time. Yes, I said Good Bye, that was to "Us", to the relationship we had, and to the possibility of anything reconciling & finding our way back together. Those words didn't mean I never wanted to see or hear from you again. I don't know how you feel about this. I wonder if you ever think of me too sometimes, or possibly feel this same way. If there is a way to have you fit somewhere in my life, and I in yours...I'd like to find that place, where it's "OK" for both of us to be able to do that. We found a friendship together too & I've missed that part of us. I'd love to meet up with my friend and catch up sometime, maybe over coffee or lunch. What do you think?~~ (end of letter)

So, there it is...pathetic but I sent it to the board instead of him now. I know someone is gonna kill me with this question BUT...I'm curious if anyone used the "how to get your ex back" book....by Brian Caniglia & what were the results of those who tried it? I downloaded it, and deciding what to do with this information? I don't know what the best thing is for me, but I have the information on how to do it right if I chose to use it. It's a month long process prior to making any move so.....how did it work for anyone here or anyone who you know who has tried it. ALso what are your thoughts on the book in general?

Thanks for letting me share & vent....for being here..
Sweetie