Post-Breakup: Please HELP!
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Post-Breakup: Please HELP!
| Thu, 01-17-2008 - 7:41am |
I'm writing today because I am feeling so fustrated, hurt and lost that I no longer know what to do so I'm hoping I can get some advice.

Hi Confused,
Don't have time to write much now. Read my posts #92 and #94 in the thread "leaving it until Sunday, then breaking NC" by Daisy.
Take care,
Freelance
Hon, it's going to take more than 3 months to get over someone you were with for 7 years.
It's going to take a heck of a lot longer than three months to get over a 7-year relationship.
I am so sorry for what you are going through...i had my ex break my heart after 5 years of dating 2.5 months ago.
It's so hard, I know. And I realize that nothing anyone says will make you get over her, because you can't just turn off your feelings.
I'm going through a similar situation; my boyfriend of two years broke up with me in August and recently started a relationship with someone else. It's absolutely devastated me, but I've found the only way I can work through the hurt is to see this as a necessary step in both of our lives. Two things can happen: either we'll get back together in the future or we won't. But sitting around now, waiting for something that he's made very clear isn't going to happen anytime soon, isn't good for either of us.
Believe me, I know what it feels like to always have her on your mind. I still can't sleep normally, and it's been five months. But pushing through that is the only thing you can do. What other option is there? Begging for her back will only push her away at this point. Maybe no contact isn't an option for you, it certainly isn't for me, but it won't do you any good to always be negative and asking her to reconsider. Instead, accept the fact that this is how it's going to be for the time being. Talk to a therapist if you need to, it can really help. If you do end up back together in the future, knowing you came back to each other will make your relationship that much stronger. And if you don't end up together, you'll be that much closer to getting over her. Maybe I'm being overly idealistic or romantic, but I don't think it's ever really over until both people don't think anything is worth fighting for anymore. It's not wrong to keep hope, but you can't let it interfere with living your life.
i'm sorry you're going through this, and i agree strongly with the others that a few months isn't enough healing time after such a long, significant relationship (i'm three months from my breakup from a three-yr relationship, and while i feel somewhat better, i know i have quite a ways to go). have you tried talking to a counselor? i think it woudl help a lot, especially if your sadness is interfering with your health and daily activities.
take care