Post-"No Contact" Ambivalence
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| Sat, 10-06-2007 - 10:50pm |
I'm so grateful for this board... Today is one of those days where I feel like I've lost my “center" and can't seem to come back to it without the help of others. So thank you to all those who are kindly reading my post.
I was in an interracial relationship for 3 years. My bf went abroad for the summer but within the first week there he sent me a nasty email in which he insulted me, said he stopped loving me and wanted out a long time ago, and said that he saw no future with me as his parents would never accept our relationship.
Before the summer, he often talked about breaking away from family/cultural expectations but was hesitant about backing up his words with concrete actions; I was already standing up for him in front of my parents. Plans for me to finally meet his parents were still up in the air when he was packing, but we still had a good time together on his last day. He told me he was already missing me, that he would take me along if only it was possible, and he would call...but he never did. Instead, he sent that nasty email which totally crushed me. I don’t know what happened during that first week abroad which triggered him to lash out. I was so hurt and angry. I didn't respond even when he apologized the very next day. It was too late; I believed that he had finally shown his true colors. I committed to no-contact, but it was still an incredibly hard summer for me.
Last week, he came back from abroad and called to apologize. I responded then and actually forgave him. Next, there was no contact all over again...up until a few days ago. He has been calling me incessantly and I am feeling so confused! What is he trying to do? I'd like us to become friends, but just not now... Any advice will be much appreciated. Thanks...
Edited 4/7/2008 6:10 am ET by silverdandelion

Welcome to the board silverdandelion,
Everything you both feel and are going through is normal.