postings saved me

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2006
postings saved me
2
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 12:13am

God is so good and I don't want to throw my beliefs on anyone so for give me if I just did ., But That's what I had to write . Tonight I knew was going to be hard for me . It is raining and the rain can sometimes make you feel even more depressed and hurt more than you already do. But something told me go online and see if anyone read my post or even cared . Ladies I think that if I wouldv'e looked and there were no postings , I would've starting calling him , but now I feel or should I say know that I can go to sleep without calling at least tonight . It just hurts to know that he can just move on like that . When we decided to have a child together my two boys were 10 and 17 I was wearing a size 7/8 and was going to the gym everyday working at a job I loved and really getting past a violent relationship . After I had my daughter prematurly a c-section and gained 80 lbs. I battled depression and can't say that I've always won.But still non of those things stopped me from being a good wife and a excellent mother . I always thought that when things got good for us we would be together. But they got good for him and he just left , ran didn't even look back . I find myself sometimes even having my daughter call him . Just so that I can see if he asks for me or to see if he'll answer when he sees her number. When does this stop ? Why can't I just let go ? Ladies Your support is all I have now and I thank you now maybe I can get some sleep .

Pain is weakness leaving the body..... YEAH RIGHT

Avatar for iamdelightful
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 1:35am
You can't let go because you're human and you have feelings. You loved this man for a long time. You had hopes and dreams for a future together with him, a loving future. And now it won't happen. That hurts a lot. The fact that you stayed with him when he was down and now that things are looking up for him he abandons you, that's gotta hurt. But he does not define you. You are your own person. You have lived without him for many years. You are strong and you can make it on your own. You WILL let go. And once you have finished mourning the loss and your heart has healed, you WILL love again. And hopefully next time the man will be worthy of your and appreciate and celebrate your warmth and good nature. Don't give up hope. Things will get better. The pain doesn't last forever.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2006
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 11:23am
I agree that this message board is very supportive, i hope that it helps you find strength within yourself so that eventually you can turn to yourself for the best support. Of course this will always be around, hopefully, but you need to find that inner strength. It's hard dealing with breakups and lost love, especially when you thought things would be one way and you found out otherwise. It's hard especially when someone leaves you behind and goes off in search of something, without you. But the important thing to note is that you are still here, you still have your daughter and your life and you can prove to yourself now that you are that strong beautiful woman that doesn't need a man who isn't happy with her. You will be able to gain so much just by looking at yourself and really digging to find out what you want to do to make yourself feel better. You dont NEED the other person to feel better, it's just that you think you do and you dont think you can do it alone. But you can, sweetheart, you can. And you will, you'll see, things will be okay. :)