problem! i'm ambivalent,is this a sign?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2005
problem! i'm ambivalent,is this a sign?
2
Thu, 05-04-2006 - 3:43pm

So I just found out that my ex's cousin will be working where I work!( i officially told him i don't want to be with him a few days ago if u were wondering)How freakin crazy is that?! It's just a small world. Well that made me think, is that a sign? Because yesterday I felt like I did want to be with him and he was the one for me, but I was pms-ing and was just sad. Today I am feeling a little better and think i can get over it and that it was the right thing to do- until i figure this out! i mean just when i thought no contact would start and i would have no ties to him, this happens. He's not that close to her but still, it's a connection for him. I have felt there are other signs too, so I am like what is the deal here?

I mean I don't feel anything for him, well not as strongly as he does I should say. I felt I should tell him, so he didn't find out later and get mad at me for not telling him (which is dumb, i probably shouldn't have said anything), but for some reason i did, i just texted him and of course he called me, but it was short and sweet, he told me to call him tonite but i don't think i will. I mean i think i am really on my way to sticking with my gut and doing the right thing, I don't want to mess that up. But why on earth did this have to happen? i mean what does this mean, i mean i am sure its nothing- it just makes me mad and curious. It's like i was all ready to forget him and now what if she spies on me for him, or they talk about me and stuff...uughh.

Is this just a little bump that i have to get over and then things will be fine? I thought my problem was enough to deal with and then this happened, just great..whats hard is that i am really ambivalent right now, i keep questioning my decision, thats why i am wondering about this, sometimes i think that with time and dating other people, i will conclude that he is the one, but isn't that normal to think after a break up? i mean thats not how its supposed to be is it?

What do you all think it means? Am I overreacting? How do I not let this affect him and I now and in the future????




Edited 5/4/2006 3:46 pm ET by precious2be
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-04-2006 - 4:19pm

Yes, it's just a bump and yes, you're overreacting...but that's normal...we're all hypersensitive right after a breakup.

How about you do this: commit to yourself and all your friends (I find personally it helps to state these commitments to my friends to keep me on track) that you're not going to contact him for 60 days. At the end of that time, see how you feel. Tell yourself, whenever you want to call him, that if you still feel you need to, you can...on July 4 (assuming you start today).

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2005
Thu, 05-04-2006 - 4:30pm
Thank you for your response, and that is a good point. I mean i do want to be friends with him down the road because he is a really great guy. We just need to have a long period of no contact to heal. It's just hard right now because sometimes i am like, why did i break up with him again? I wish i had more of a solid answer then it just doesn't feel right, because i mean this guy has everything, but maybe that is a solid answer. Sometimes i think it is just me, but i guess i will figure that out once i date other guys...i just know that it shouldn't be such a struggle, and it should just feel right and it doesn't, and i wish i knew why?!?! plain and simple, i guess i just don't feel a connection and i dragged it out way too long..