Puffy eyed...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2006
Puffy eyed...
4
Tue, 11-07-2006 - 4:14am
:::snip:::


Edited 1/31/2007 8:17 pm ET by sunlightatdawn
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Wed, 11-08-2006 - 2:11pm

WOW...THAT WAS LONG "JUST KIDDING"...it sound that your such a nice person BUT YOU NEED TO WORK WITH YOUR INSECURITY. well maybe she teaching you a lesson for hurting her feelings....i bet you she crying cuz of you also...anyways your the "MAN" here so your the one need to show some effort...but you should wait for a while....let her breath first...maybe start calling here after few months...i hopefully that time she's ready to talk things with you.

good luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-15-2006 - 8:16am

sunlightatdawn...

Pianoguy normally doesn't respond to lengthy posts such as yours. However, the parallels between your 15 month relationship and PG's 15 MONTH 2ND MARRIAGE can't be totally ignored.

The time frame for 'getting over someone who has deeply hurt us' and moving forward varies with everybody! It usually takes most of us a year before we're able to TRUST SOMEONE ELSE again? For some---the time period is L-O-N-G-E-R!

Going from 'being lovers to just friends' ISN'T something everybody is capable of doing. . I think it's because there's always the risk of forgiving someone and then...getting hurt a 2nd or a 3rd time? And the more frequently this happens, the quicker we become suspicious about the motives of others.

Realistically...a person can ONLY CRY FOR SO LONG! Then they have to come to the realization that their tears aren't affecting (or hurting) anybody BUT THEMSELVES!

My suggestion is to take 'two steps forward' and try not to look back! And hopefully, your next relationship will have A HAPPIER ENDING than the one you described for us?

Good Luck!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2006
Wed, 11-15-2006 - 9:35am

That was a long post but I got through it. Your situation sounds like my situation a few years ago when I broke up with my ex. My ex was the same way you are. We broke up, and in my book it was amicable but he turned it around to make it like I was going to act irrational, lose my mind and that I was going to be devastated over him. I couldn't believe how he was acting! Big ego he had!!!

Anyway to make a long story short, he called me too after 5 mos. after our break up, I was cold, I asked him repeatedly not to call me before I'd slam the phone down on him. Why was I cold? Because he made the breakup a nasty one when it didn't have to be that way. I was tired of trying to be nice to the guy when it became abundantly clear that he's not the type of person you can be nice to. I just wanted no more parts of him, saw him for what he was, a liar and a control freak and I just wanted to move on with my life without staying in touch with him. Your ex girl friend probably feels the same way I did. I'm not saying you're a liar but you did say you were controlling. People get fed up with that no matter how much they love you. My advice is to respect her wishes and move on with your life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2006
Wed, 11-15-2006 - 11:08am
I have just broken up with my boyfriend, because I have realised that he will never change the way he is. You can't change someone, and you won't change! If you were to get back with this girl, you would always have the same problems leading to the same arguments. Why waste your time trying to get back with her when its obviously never going to work. You shouldn't be putting yourself through this. You should be looking for the right girl who doesn't make you feel like this. She obviously wasn't giving you what you needed if she was making you feel like this. There is that someone out there who will make you feel ontop of the world and that you can trust 100%, TRUST ME! Good luck!