question for sandra..and all
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question for sandra..and all
| Thu, 02-15-2007 - 1:08pm |
I left a post here..me and ex broke up right before new years...i am doing everything to move on..and each day gets better...yes..he broke it off..i know i dont want to be with someone who does not want to be with me..but i still imagine him calling or something!! its been 7 weeks..and i have nc with him..same from him..nothing...I am just fooling myself to think he even cared..i guess i just want the satisfaction of him calling to see how i am..i read the zen of doing nothing..and it is true..trust me..the way i acted when he said he was done..left not such a good picture of me in his head!!! so i just let him go..i didnt want to be that phycho ex!! even though i felt like it...i have done nothing for the past 7 weeks..and he the same..i guess i just am mad after everything we went thru he just walked away..with out looking back...i feel i am still greiving..and he is probably dating...i know i have to focus on myself..but when u just leave them alone..nc at all..do u think they even wonder about us???? p.s. we live in different states..so no chance of running into eachother..which is good

Hi bellaa
I'm posting links to your other posts for those that want more info:
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlbreaking/?msg=22096.1
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlbreaking/?msg=22114.1
::i guess i just am mad after everything we went thru he just walked away..with out looking back...i feel i am still greiving..and he is probably dating...i know i have to focus on myself..but when u just leave them alone..nc at all..do u think they even wonder about us????
I know it's normal to *think* this way, but it's not really true in my opinion.
i guess its too soon for you to move on...but like you mention it good that both of live in diff state which is good...other words there no close friend, relative that oneday that you could bumb in....right??
try to make yourself busier than usual if it is possible get a second job that will make you busy and stop thinking!!! good luck
Mantra
I just wanted to let you know that you really are doing the right thing. The nc is smart. To have contact with the ex only encourages pain and makes it more difficult to move on. Your thoughts about him are normal. Everyone has them. Especially wondering if he's dating. Of course he's wondering the same about you.
The thing I hate worst about a break up is that awful sunken, hollowed out feeling. Boy is that hard. Everyone tells you to get out more, take a yoga class stuff like that. But once you do it, you're glad. It is good to fill up the free time with activity.
Do you ever read any self help books, or books on relationships? I have found a few to be really helpful. The time in between relationships is important. You can analyze your patterns that don't do you any good. You can look at your mistakes. You can look at the things you do right. This in between time is an opportunity to know what it will take for your next relationship to be really good. You can figure out what kind of relationship you need. What you can do to make it so. For example, do you want a relationship to be mature and peaceful? What kind of a person do you need to be in order to encourage that? Use the in between time for self discovery. It can really be facinating.
Anyway, I wish you the best of luck. You are not alone!