Ready to move on but scared to be single

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
Ready to move on but scared to be single
4
Mon, 12-06-2004 - 2:22pm
I broke up three weeks ago with a great guy who treated me really well. After six months of dating he wasn't ready to move on to the next step of me spending time with his kids and getting married so I told him I had to let him go. I think I've handled the break up well. I haven't contacted him and have no desire to, I know that this is his problem and I can't solve it. The weird thing is that I feel a little like I don't want to leave this place of "I just broke up with my boyfriend" because at least here, there was once a boyfriend. And if I am over him and totally out there making myself available but I haven't met anyone, then I'm "just single and with no prospects and no good news" for the millions of (well meaning) people who ask how I'm doing. Has anyone felt this way? Any words of wisdom?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
Mon, 12-06-2004 - 5:15pm

Hi CatG-

I am thinking about ending it w/ a man I have been dating for over a year. I congratulate you for being able to "do it". I am afraid to be single, too. I am 40 and have never been married. It is scary, but just think, you were strong enough to do what was in your best interest, so you will survive this too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
Mon, 12-06-2004 - 6:08pm

Sassyonetoo -- I'm 38 and also have never been married. I still truly believe that the right man is out there for me and I've just decided not to settle and marry the wrong man just to say I've been married once. And also not to waste any time on someone who isn't ready for what I'm ready for. I've done that too many times!

You don't say why you're thinking about ending it so I'm not sure what to tell you, except to be true to yourself and what you know you deserve.

Avatar for alsatia23
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 12-07-2004 - 12:42am

I am glad you are handling the break up well. It is hard to be single, but don't be afraid of it. You belong only to yourself now, you are free to do what you want when you want, without having two worry about anyone elses opinion. You may be single, but you will find prospects and good news will find you. Just be strong and happy! Sorry if that isn't much help.


Take Care,


Kerry







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Avatar for alicea825
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2003
Tue, 12-07-2004 - 2:53pm

I know that feeling very well. I hid behind the "I just broke up with someone" wall for a very long time until I had to realize that I am single. Being single is at first a little scary, but there are lots of benefits as well! I've been single for 2 years now, and even though I'd much rather be in a relationship, I've learned to appreciate being single, which I think in turn will help me to appreciate being in a relationship again that much more.

If you're looking for insite, come on over to The Single Life board. There are lots of great people on there with wonderful support, witty conversations and ideas and suggestions on what to do as a single person.

Take care and good luck!