This makes total sense! I always told me ex that i would focus on being the best person I can be (faults and all) and that it was always his "choice" whether or not to stay with me or not. I think knowing that he had his freedom during our realtionship is what gave us a good relationship, well, until it ended (which had more to do with differences in values). But I think that's why I can at least walk away with dignity in this relationship. I lived my life as best i could to the best of my ability, and in the end he chose that it wasn't right for him. There was nothing I could have done to stop him. I think this helps speed up my recovery process because at least I feel my self-esteem is in tact. I have a good sense of who I am and where I'd like to go...not just gotta find someone who is on board with that. in due time...in due time...
Welcome to the board Irene,
Just click on this link Zen of Doing Nothing