This really hurts
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This really hurts
| Sun, 09-18-2005 - 5:25pm |
My boyfriend and I have been together off and on for years. We keep coming back together and everytime it feels like we get closer to really making it work- then out of the blue, it ends. We had an awful fight last night and after I left his house he tried calling me four times but I was already so hurt I couldn't bring myself to pick up. He hasn't called at all today. I don't know what to do. I guess my common sense would say to just let him go but he has always been such a big part of my life, it just feels unimaginable to cut ties. We can't just be friends though. Things seemed to be going fine lately but in the past week, we saw friends get married, found out a close couple of friends are pregnant and, last week I was offered a job making more money than him. I don't know if these things set him off but last night he was suddenly telling me that he thought I wanted more out of this relationship than he did and from there it just got out of control. I feel terrible. I know the smart thing is to let go but I don't know how to do this without feeling miserable all the time. Any advice?

I don't know how old you are, but it seems that if you have been going back and forth for years without resolving whatever your issues are then maybe its just not meant to be. You mentioned that you went to a wedding and found out another couple is pregnant. These things very well may have caused your boyfriend to panic. While this is a common reaction, it is not an excuse. If he is that scared of commitment then it is a pretty clear sign of where his head is.
If you know that the smart thing is to let go, then maybe you realize deep down that this isn't going to work out. If you do end things, I'm sure you will be sad and lonely for a while. Unfortunately there aren't any shortcuts - at least none that any of us here have found. But short-term pain is better than a lifetime of misery.
Good luck - let us know what happens.
Unfortunately leaving him will hurt. There is no way around that.
Go with your gut, not your heart. Dont go back to him because you dont want to feel the pain, go back because you have hope you can work this out with him. If there is hope, then talk to him. If you decide there is no hope, then perhaps its time to accept it and move on. Its up to you.
Im so sorry to say that this will be very difficult for you. But big life choices such as this affect our very being, so they usually are. Its a bummer really.
All the best with this.
Donna
Edited 9/19/2005 1:54 am ET ET by sasifrazed