Really in need of Advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2005
Really in need of Advice
1
Mon, 03-07-2005 - 5:49pm

A guy I dated for 4 1/2 months recently broke up with me. This doesn't seem like a long time, but I truly thought we may be together forever and was falling in love with him. All of the sudden, I was blindsided when he broke up with me. He actually just ignored me one night all night to where I had to break up with him. Later when we talked aobut it, he said that he just wasn't sure if this was a time in his life where he could have a serious relationship. He is 25 and in his first year of law school, and I am about to graduate and move to another state. He immediately tried to be my friend and would still flirt and tell me how he missed me and all of that, but he just didn't have time for the relationship. After this went on for a week, I asked him to leave me alone so I could get over it. He did for the most part, but I still had to see him around school and in the social scene. I'm also very close friend's with his older sister whom he lives with, so this makes it doubly hard.

Now after a month, we saw each other out and spent the night together, thanks to alcohol. Of course, he said how he misses me and all of that. This was this weekend. And, it obviously makes everything more confusing because its obvious he still really cares about me, he said so himself. But, still he's not with me, I don't get it.

I realize this is probably all bull and I just need to get over it. But, that's the problem, I can't. I feel like we are meant for each other and I don't understand why he couldn't give us a chance. I honestly wonder if the "I can't handle a relationship" excuse is actually true or if its just realizes that I'm not the one for him. It would almost be easier if that was the case, then i wouldn't wonder why if someone cares about me so much, they "can't" be with me???

At this point I don't know what to do. Does it sound like there is any hope for us? Would it help to try and talk to him again? Or, should I just let it go? Should I be his friend or not?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Mon, 03-07-2005 - 10:00pm
I think his whole line about not being able to handle a relationship is just that...a line....an excuse.
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