really neither here nor there...
Find a Conversation
| Sat, 03-24-2007 - 9:12pm |
So I was sitting in the carwash, water swishing all over, soap suds, etc etc etc, Coldplay's "Fix You" blaring on my car stereo and I'm bawling my eyes out. Why? Have you ever *listened* to Coldplay's "Fix You"? You might not want to now, since it makes me bawl my eyes out. And maybe I shouldn't either. But this absolutely freaking sucks. I'm starting to teeter into this false logic of somehow being at peace with him, and all of this, even though I don't see how that's possible. I will not contact him. And meanwhile, I keep thinking of these responses I'd give him if I ever got some kind of "will you speak to me?" text or email from him. My favorite thus far: "I'd rather shotgun a 12pack of Coke and eat an entire bagful of White Castle chicken rings. But then again, that probably sounds good to you."
I think I might be losing it, people.

you're not losing it, IJB, you'll pull through.
I thought up a zinger the other day (we must all do this...) "You're gutless, spineless, brainless, how are you managing to stay alive?" lol. Amused me at the time at least.
Eventually we'll cry enough that we'll start laughing, I think. Since the reverse is true.
We are going through a tough time right now, and lot's of little things will get us down in the dumps. It's okay to cry, so hang in there. Your post has also made me want to go to Macdonalds to get some nuggets:)
I have been thinking like that lately too. Me and my ex dated 5 years, and have been apart for 11 months. I still don't know how he's doing or what he's feeling because we haven't spoken since he dumped me. I keep telling myself that he will feel SOMETHING one day and then I will know that he gave a crap about me. But until then, I change the station when a sad song comes on. I changed my daily routine so that I'm not reminded of "our daily routine." I basically flip-flopped my whole life around so that I can't justify crying over him anymore. When he does cross my mind I think about something he did that hurt me, or something that I didn't like about him.
He moved on and has a new life WITHOUT me. Well, a new life with him and my ex-friend So, that makes me soo mad that I can't miss him anymore! Maybe I'll start believing it one day...
It's hard but keep your head up and be strong!