Really Scared - Please Help

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2007
Really Scared - Please Help
6
Fri, 12-07-2007 - 1:52pm

Hi all,


I really need help from you guys from now. I've been doing good so far, havent spoken to / emailed / texted, etc my ex boyfriend in any way shape or form for a week now. Until today. All of a sudden, something possessed me to text him, however all I wrote was "Monday is the 10th, please send a payment ok?". And that was ALL I wrote (thank god). You'd have to see my previous posts to know my story, but lets just make a long story short and say he abused me in every way possible, including cheating. I'm also in the midst of getting tested for all the STD's because of him. Well, he owes me $1800 so that was what I meant by the text. So far its been a little while and he hasn’t answered me, but im so afraid my hands are actually shaking. I cant believe I did that! I promised myself I would never contact that a**wipe again, even regarding the money. I said I would chalk it up to a lesson learned. But I know I'm just using that as an excuse. Its so scary to know that these urges can pop up unexpectedly at any given moment! Plus, I know how I get, once I don’t get a response I keep plugging away until I do, acting like a crazy woman. I know that's abnormal and unhealthy and I've read about it in some of the books I have about how that's one of the many characteristics of love-addicted, codependant people. I know I'm one of those, but I need to stop contacting this guy! What am I going to do?? I'm really scared about what I just did. I don’t want to do that again.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Fri, 12-07-2007 - 2:05pm

Hi cherrygirl831,


What are you doing to help yourself and stop yourself?


Have you checked out this iVillage board yet? Codependents & Love Addicts


Any help here: Breaking the Compulsive Calling Cycle

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2007
Fri, 12-07-2007 - 2:28pm
so far i have a bunch of calls out to therapists, waiting to hear back for an appt.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-07-2007 - 2:40pm

I would recommend that you start going to daily CODA or Alanon meetings until you can get into therapy and get to your SLAA meeting.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2007
Fri, 12-07-2007 - 2:54pm
I've already taken him out of my phone, but unfortunately we spoke so frequently that his phone # is just in my head already.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-07-2007 - 3:01pm

It happens, and beating yourself up is a useless waste of time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Fri, 12-07-2007 - 3:11pm

Well, one thing you need to stop doing is beating yourself up over it.

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