Really Scared - Please Help
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| Fri, 12-07-2007 - 1:52pm |
Hi all,
I really need help from you guys from now. I've been doing good so far, havent spoken to / emailed / texted, etc my ex boyfriend in any way shape or form for a week now. Until today. All of a sudden, something possessed me to text him, however all I wrote was "Monday is the 10th, please send a payment ok?". And that was ALL I wrote (thank god). You'd have to see my previous posts to know my story, but lets just make a long story short and say he abused me in every way possible, including cheating. I'm also in the midst of getting tested for all the STD's because of him. Well, he owes me $1800 so that was what I meant by the text. So far its been a little while and he hasn’t answered me, but im so afraid my hands are actually shaking. I cant believe I did that! I promised myself I would never contact that a**wipe again, even regarding the money. I said I would chalk it up to a lesson learned. But I know I'm just using that as an excuse. Its so scary to know that these urges can pop up unexpectedly at any given moment! Plus, I know how I get, once I don’t get a response I keep plugging away until I do, acting like a crazy woman. I know that's abnormal and unhealthy and I've read about it in some of the books I have about how that's one of the many characteristics of love-addicted, codependant people. I know I'm one of those, but I need to stop contacting this guy! What am I going to do?? I'm really scared about what I just did. I don’t want to do that again.

Hi cherrygirl831,
What are you doing to help yourself and stop yourself?
Have you checked out this iVillage board yet? Codependents & Love Addicts
Any help here: Breaking the Compulsive Calling Cycle
I would recommend that you start going to daily CODA or Alanon meetings until you can get into therapy and get to your SLAA meeting.
It happens, and beating yourself up is a useless waste of time.
Well, one thing you need to stop doing is beating yourself up over it.