A reason 2 LIVE
Find a Conversation
A reason 2 LIVE
| Mon, 06-26-2006 - 11:04am |
My last msg on this bd recv'd no responses:-( Was married for 17 yrs and got set up for divorce. Am still in love with my ex-wife, who has TOTALLY took me for EVERYTHING. When I was in court, I couldn't even talk, all I could do was cry constantly. I wanted soooo very badly to save my marriage, but she was a PIG that couldn't wait to drain the last drop of blood from me (and is still continuing to do so even though we are divorced). She cause me to me to lose 2 sets of parents, my son (who loved me more than anything on this earth and now hates my guts), my job/career, most of my personal possession, etc. I have nothing left in this life...not even my sanity. Have been hospitalized 5 times in the past year. I gave up my whole life for this woman. And, that wasn't enough for her. 5 yrs ago I was making close to a 6-figure income. Now, I am penniless, jobless, and living in abject poverty while she is living high on the hog. Lawyers have been total whores (for those of you that have gone through a divorce and/or going through a divorce, I'm sure you can relate to this!!!). Have been out of work for 1.5 yrs with no hope for ANY work. Have gone for 4-5 days at a time without having any food. Lived better off when I was in college!!! Only have a few weeks left in my apt before I get evicted. Gosh, I was such a loyal husband and father and can't believe my lot in life. Have prayed to Jesus until I'm blue in the face...Hate to say this, but I value life more than anything else on this earth; yet death mo longer scares me. Am looking at razor blades right now, and am contemplating the END...DON'T CALL THE PIGS ON ME, PLEASE!!!

Dear Mr Perfect,
I just read your post and I'm sorry that you did not receive any responses. I am currently going through a breakup of my own, and also feel that my husband is still in love with me. I am not in love with him anymore - but will forever love him as a friend.
What I'm seeing in your posting is that you're still in love with your ex, however you continue to refer to her as a PIG. You say that she has drained you of everything, and that you've lived better in college.
My question to you is: Do you really still love her? Or are you resentful because of what she's done? It is my personal opinion that you are holding onto something that would be far more painful than actually accepting what has happened to your life. I'm sure you have many good qualities, are a good husband and a father. However, I pray and give you courage to realize that there are women out there who will recognize and validate you for the person you truly are. Just not with your ex.
To consider the end is not fair to yourself, your ex or child. Address the issues - there is light at the end of the tunnel (Yeah, I keep telling myself that too!!). The beauty of the heart is that it can learn to love again...
Hope this helps, amarriedgirl (should really be exmarriedgirl, ha!)
Hello mmtprfct, I'm sorry you are having a difficult time right now, and I'm concerned because your message mentions suicide.
Theresa's Prayer
(cannot be deleted)
REMEMBER to make a wish before you read the poem. That's all you have to do. There is nothing attached. This is a powerful novena. Just send this to four people and let me know what happens on the fourth day.
Do not break this, please. Prayer is one of the best free gifts we receive. There is no cost but a lot of reward.
(Did you make a wish?) If you don't make a wish, it won't come true.
Last Chance to Make a Wish.
May today there be peace within.
May you trust your highest power that you are exactly where you are meant to be....
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.
May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you....
May you be content knowing you are a child of God....
Let this presence settle into our bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of you....
Send This to 7 People wit n the next 5 minutes and your wish will come true.
Please send this back...you'll see why.
A chain letter????? your kidding right? He is better off getting a job at McDonalds, CVS or Walgreen...even a supermarket..its something..money and benefits. There is always work even if its minimum wage. Its better then nothing coming in. When he gets his benefits, he should go to a therapist as well. Also he should look to getting government assistance. How about filing for Bankruptcy?
There are options. You just have to look.
Mr. Ntprfct.,
Hope you are OK right now. I know it's easier said than done, but please take one day at a time. A small kindness from a stranger, something beautiful in the world, these things can carry you for a day or two at a time. Hang onto them for now. You can kill yourself at anytime, but you sure can't come back anytime.
If not living anymore gives you comfort, tell yourself you'll do it next year, or five years down. You will have that to look forward to. If you've lost everything, what's it cost you to stick around to see what comes next. I tried to kill myself. I didn't succeed and I'm glad. A lot of things in my life suck right now, but everything's better than when I was at my low point. I know things can get better for you. If you really don't believe so--stick around and prove me wrong.
What I'm trying to say is--do whatever you can, tell yourself whatever you have to--in order to survive through today, tomorrow and next week. I wish you the best luck.
I am so sorry that you are going through this. Take it from someone who went through a divorce 2 1/2 years ago, you need to LIVE for your child and work like crazy to see your child, if you have to, get another lawyer and make sure you get at least joint custody. That child needs you just as much as you need him even though you feel he hates you. I have recently been through a very painful breakup and my ex did'nt have the guts to officially end it, all he did was not return my calls. I am going on two weeks of no contact with him and it is very hard but my daughter keeps me going. I cry, scream, throw things but not in front of her. She sees her mommy going through a lot of pain and even though she is only 6 years old, and she comfronts me more than any thearpist could. PLEASE some how, some way get reconnected to your child. You ex is history but your child is forever.
I am here for you and feel your pain.
mrntprfct, your post made me cry. I just finished posting my first novel based on similar feelings, although not as poignant as your post. I'm afraid I don't have much advice to give. Calling 1-800-SUICIDE has helped me in the past, from a cell phone, of course, so they couldn't trace me... and using a fake name, and fake birthday.
I, too, have no job, no prospects, multiple hospitalizations, scars all down the length of my arm, and generally, nothing.
As I said, I don't have much to offer, but you can email me anytime at avery.phoenix@yahoo.com, or instant message me on AIM - averyphoenix82, or yahoo - astropheL2.