Rebound?? HELP!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2004
Rebound?? HELP!
4
Thu, 07-29-2004 - 10:18pm
Don't even know where to start.. Well, here we go.

I was with my ex for 1.5 years and he has depression problems and very insecure, when on the other hand I was ALWAYS the happy one. I was trying to get him out and made so many attempts to snap him out of it, instead I became insecure and negative myself. Anyway, the relationship started going downhill, we met the whole new group of people and they were really cool especially one girl who I thought was really really fun. Little did I know, my ex thought the same thing, I did have a funny feeling something was up, but thought that I was just being paranoid. But I WAS right. A month after we broke up I told one of my best friends Tee that I have a funny feeling about them. She just looked at me and said that I wasn't wrong, that he had feelings for that woman. Tee was good friends with him too, but hated being stuck in the middle so she made her choice to be by me. I was histerical as you can imagine. So next day I went to his house and confronted him and he said that it was true. I cried and said some stupid things like I was willing to try again bla bla He just kept saying how sorry he was and that I should be happy that this new girl will be dealing with his problems and not me. He also said that I was a lot cuter than her. WHAT?? Anyway, I met this guy a three weeks ago and we just been seeing each other every now and then. I don't want anything serious, its just sex really. Yesterday I found out that my ex took that girl to Melbourne for a weekend of shopping!! Thats where I always planned to go with him. I assume that he did it because he found out about this guy? We share lots of same friends and I'm sure someone said something... I feel really angry! How do I get through this??
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
In reply to: tails2004
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 7:54pm
Please try not to feel that everything he does is directed as a slight to you or a way to get even, it will make you even angrier. Let him go, try not to track his activity too much or ask about it. It will be very hard I know, but I think it will help you a lot.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2004
In reply to: tails2004
Sun, 08-01-2004 - 7:11pm
I do know what you mean, Gralandfairy, but I never try to find out what he does. It just happens as we share a lot of friends. I went out with my girlfriends on the weekend and got a call from one of my guy friends... Well, at least I thought it was him. It was so loud in the bar that I didn't realise that I wasn't actually talking to my ex who used that guys phone! WHY did he call? anyway, as I was by that stage really quite drunk I went outside and couldn't help but ask about his trip to Melbourne was. He turned around and asked me "hows your new boy?" I said good, thou I am not interested in that guy at all anymore, but my ex doesn't need to know it.... Oh man. I was having fun and then he had to spoil my night by the stupid phone call. I don't understand any point of him doing it... At the end of the conversation he said that he would come and meet me. So there I was sitting outside the club, sobbing so hard and thats where my girlfriend found me and took me right away so I wouldn't see him. I think its just insensible for him to call me like that. Was he trying to hurt me? Well, it worked!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2004
In reply to: tails2004
Sun, 08-01-2004 - 8:35pm
Speaking from experience,

I was always at my b/f when other girls would text him on his mobile,

It was an insecurity that I had brought from past relationships and just couldn't get over,

I feel that to have insecurties like that it really lies deep down about the entire relationship,

I was actually so insecure about the relationship I had with my boyfriend that it really wasn't the girls texting him that got to me it was everything about the relationship.

I feel that when going out with someone you get to know them pretty well,

And when you get a gut instict about problems,

Go with them cause most the time we are correct!

Go out and see this new guy,

Your ex seems like he's well and truely moved on, so should you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2004
In reply to: tails2004
Sun, 08-01-2004 - 11:49pm
To be honest, I don't think I should see another guy, I need to recover from my last heartbreak. All I want to do is stay on my own for a while. I haven't seen him for a month and it starting to feel a little bit better. I think my advice to everyone is to keep yourself very very busy, it helps so much!