rebuilding
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rebuilding
| Mon, 08-20-2007 - 1:53pm |
Hi everyone,
my issue is a little complex, but probably no different from most on this board. I recently broke up w/my BF and it was a rough relationship. He tore me down for over a year and broke down my already low self esteem. He managed to keep me down and feed off of it, by picking on my weight (i'm 5'4; 130) and calling me unattractive, knowing that those are my insecurities. He fought w/me constantly, had rage issues and used abusive language, the relationship eventually ended when he got physical w/me, that was my last straw...
The thing is that now i feel lost. I don't necessarily miss him, but i don't knwo myself anymore. I was so wrapped up in what he told me about myself, and how on edge he always made me feel, that i feel like i'm dead inside. I had no hobbies outside of him, no friends really, and he hated my family, so he made me focus on him constantly.
In the end, i know i'm not all bad, ppl find me attractive, and i am a good person, i've never done anything bad to anyone. so why did this have to happen to me?? how do i start rebuilding myself?
the worst part is that sometimes i still wonder about him, almost miss him, is that nuts? i don't love him, but wonder what he's doing. and i hate that...i just want him erased from my memory, and i want to be able to really, truly smile again, from the heart...
please help ladies...
my issue is a little complex, but probably no different from most on this board. I recently broke up w/my BF and it was a rough relationship. He tore me down for over a year and broke down my already low self esteem. He managed to keep me down and feed off of it, by picking on my weight (i'm 5'4; 130) and calling me unattractive, knowing that those are my insecurities. He fought w/me constantly, had rage issues and used abusive language, the relationship eventually ended when he got physical w/me, that was my last straw...
The thing is that now i feel lost. I don't necessarily miss him, but i don't knwo myself anymore. I was so wrapped up in what he told me about myself, and how on edge he always made me feel, that i feel like i'm dead inside. I had no hobbies outside of him, no friends really, and he hated my family, so he made me focus on him constantly.
In the end, i know i'm not all bad, ppl find me attractive, and i am a good person, i've never done anything bad to anyone. so why did this have to happen to me?? how do i start rebuilding myself?
the worst part is that sometimes i still wonder about him, almost miss him, is that nuts? i don't love him, but wonder what he's doing. and i hate that...i just want him erased from my memory, and i want to be able to really, truly smile again, from the heart...
please help ladies...

Welcome to the board ndugga01,
Everything you feel is normal.