Recent break up...should I see him?
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| Wed, 03-22-2006 - 5:52pm |
Hey everyone, I'm knew here. I just recently broke up with my boyfriend, and best friend actually. I miss him so much! And I sort of feel like I made a mistake...and want to ask him whether or not we should give it another try. But I know, I will just end up being hurt again. Has anyone ever had similar experiences? And if so, how did you handle them?
Also, I am currently reading "It's Called a Break up b/c it's Broken" by the authors of "I'm just not that into you"...it suggests that I should basically cut him off for 60 days..."60 day he-tox"...but I when we were going out...and even now that we've broken up, we talk literally everyday on the phone! And I don't know if I am strong enough to do the 60 day he-tox.
And this past weekend, he was told me that he had already bought my birthday present, and that when he saw it, he knew that he had to get it. My friends are actually throwing me a party...and they are inviting him, because we are all really great friends, and it would be really mean not to invite him..But! The problem is, I know that when I see him, all of his flaws etc will just disappear and I will simply fall for him again. And I will be right back where I do NOT want to be. PLUS! The 60 day "he-tox" won't allow me to see him! Help! I can't get out of not seeing him...and I actually want to...but know that I shouldn't...what should I do?

How soon is your birthday? And how long were you together?
Sheri
Well, hmm. I was thinking that maybe if the party was in a few months, and you'd only dated for a short time, then maybe you'd be ok to see him by then.
I suppose you could see him Saturday and THEN start no contact. But realize that having him there will make the evening difficult for you, and it'll delay your healing process. But maybe you're willing to risk that. Will you really be able to enjoy the party if he's there, though?
Sheri
HI OKOBERRY
WHAT DO YOU THINK THAT BOOK WILL DO FOR YOUR FUTURE NOTHING RIGHT?...WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BASED YOUR EXPERIENCE WITH OTHERS? DO YOU THINK THAT BOOK WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY?
LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING BE HONEST TO YOUR ANSWER...DO YOU THINK THAT BOOK IS THE ONE WHO WILL FEEL THE TRUE FEELINGS/LOVE OF YOUR EX/BOY FRIEND TO YOU? ISNT YOU "OR" THAT BOOK?
LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING EVERY ONE OF US HAVE DIFFERENT DESTINY..SO FOR MY OWN OPINION READING THOSE KIND OF BOOKS IS READY CONFUSING RELATIONSHIP. THOSE AUTHOR JUST WANT TO MAKE MONEY OUT OF PEOPLE WHOSE DESPERATE AND WANT ANSWER...WELL THE REAL ANSWER IS IN YOUR HEART...YOUR THE ONLY ONE WHO WILL FEEL IF SOMEONE LOVES YOU...NOT JUST A BOOK!!
WHAT ABOUT YOUR EXBF JUST WAITING FOR YOUR MOVE OR EITHER YOU ARE ALSO...BOTH OF YOU LOVE EACH OTHER AND BECAUSE YOU READ THIS BOOK YOU START HAVING EGO TO NOT CONTACT YOUR EXBF.
PLEASE THINK ABOUT IT DONT LET ANY ONE "OR" ANYTHING INTERFEAR YOUR HAPPINESS..
THIS ALL ABOUT YOUR DESICION..
GOOD LUCK!!
Hi Jazz_meeh
I do agree with you to a certain extent. This book may or may not do anything do my future any good. However, when a girl has just broken up with her first love, she is heartbroken, confused, afraid, and alone. And so in this vulnerable state, she is desperate to find help or virtually anything that will provide her with a little bit of hope and comfort so she can actually find something to believe in again, something to let her know that she will be okay, and that the future without her first love and best friend, might not be as scary as she imagines.
And you are very right, the decision is up to me, and nobody else's...not even that book. But I am just too emotional at this point, since this is still so recent, and so I don't believe that the decisions I make would be rational. Therefore, I turned to someone for help, and that book provided me with a sense of comfort and hope that I can get through this...
But I thank both you and Sheri for your concern and support =)
I think that is an incredible book and it helped me a great deal. Like anything else, though, you take the advice you agree with and leave the rest. If you really feel it's over and are ready to move on, you should sit him down (after the party if you want) and have a talk with him. Tell him how you feel and remind him of the problems that existed in your relationship that (apparently) can't be worked out. I know since you broke up with him your situation is a little different...but for him to heal, he needs time and space too. Tell him you want NC for 60 days and during that time there should be no phone calls, e-mails, "accidental" encounters...nothing. Take that time to work on you and figure out what you want from a relationship. When you're ready, you should read "Why Men Love Bitches." I'm reading it now and it's REALLY empowering.
Steph
http://www.myspace.com/stephfaris